Archive for the ‘Life coaching’ Category

As I get older, I try to do the world around me some good and pass on the lessons I’ve learned in case some random souls out there have the ears to hear and a heart to understand.  I believe it’s one of our obligations as human beings to give something back, to make our personal contribution count.  So here goes, take the following as you wish.  Hopefully there’s something in it that you can take with you and make yourself a better person with that gained knowledge.

Michael Majalahti

I steadfastly believe in the adage “if the shoe fits, wear it.” (photo: Hannu Eskelinen)

HUSTLE (like your life depends on it)

The older you get, the more you both understand – and feel – life slipping away at an increasingly rapid rate. When you’re young, it feels like forever as you look ahead to your future. Waiting to hit legal age, waiting to finish college or university, waiting to find that right girl to spend your life with. It all feels so long. However, in retrospect, life goes by in a flash.

If there is one thing that I have learned here by my mid-40’s, it’s that you’ve gotta hustle. Boy, you have got to make your two cents count, for the time is frighteningly short. You have got to bust your ass and make the most out of every opportunity because most key opportunities only come by once in a lifetime. And living with regret is a bitch and half, let me assure you.

What’s Your Driver?

Nowadays, more than ever, we’ve got armchair quarterbacks galore sitting behind their computer screens living a virtual life of nil content. It’s stagnating, the sedentary prison of tech slavery that most of us have succumbed to. A friend of mine once said, ”If you look back at your life and ask yourself what have I been doing most in the past five years, and if your answer is sitting at a computer staring at a screen, you have seriously got to get yourself a life.” Truer words have seldom been spoken. And many of us need to really get busy finding that life of worth, value and meaning… especially in our age of tech gadgets, virtual reality, escapism and social media overload.

social media zombies

The bottom line is that the crucial thing that your self-respect and healthy ego hinges on is getting shit done. Period. You have to make your contribution count. You have to create value in order to feel valuable. You must put one foot in front of the other and make strides toward goal after goal in order to have a life of meaning. There is simply no other way. In order for this to happen, you must hustle and work toward achieving worthwhile goals of quality substance.

If you don’t have a driver in your life – that being an incessant need that pushes you to get shit done – you’ll simply stagnate, and that only leads to death. You cannot simply stagnate and just remain as is. No, stagnation will change you, and moreso, kill you. Like a limb left inside of a cast, you will atrophy mentally and spiritually, leading to another kind of death before your physical time is up. But in order to have a driver, you must first have a passion. Something you burn for. For a man without passion is a sorry individual, indeed. Just take an honest look at your own social circle and you’ll certainly see the drifters, the ones without aim, purpose or passion in their lives, and this point will become crystal clear. ‘Nuff said and point taken, I gander.


The thing that has driven me in my life is something as simple as the fear of mortality. I never asked for this life but now that I’m here, I’m damn well going to make the most of it. My motto is: before you know it, we’ll all be dead, so get busy!

Who the hell are we, anyway? Just another wayfarer on this earthly trek, another generation come and gone, returning to the dust from whence we came? Before that fateful day, I want to get a lot of meaningful things done and make this one and only life worth something, if for no one else, then for myself and the sake of my own self-worth, self-respect and sanity. If they write about me in the annals of world history, great. If not, so fucking what. What counts is that I personally will have had a life worth living, a life full of meaning, brimming with worthwhile content. Then, when one day it will be my time to give up the ghost, I can do so as a fulfilled man that went out and did all he could with the time that was given to him.

My Story

I was born to an immigrant preacher couple in Canada back in 1973. The doctors never gave my mother any hopes of having a child. Her womb was too small, they said. My father, ever the servant of the Lord and a minister to the bitter end, encouraged his wife to trust in God above. I am her only child, the son that was never to be, and so she called me Michael, after the arch angel in Scripture.

I was the outcast since childhood, shunned by other kids simply based on proxy: I was the preacher’s kid. I became the lone wolf, the one that took the path less trodden. I went out into my personal wasteland in order to die and be born again, to reach full manhood, with a clear, personal identity, in order to be something more than the status quo.

lone wolf

Thus, I followed what my heart burned for and became a professional wrestler – the closest thing to a real-life superhero that there is. Of all the vocations on the academic palette, pro wrestler wasn’t in there. Yet, I knew I didn’t want to be anything on the list offered. So pro wrestler it was. And more than that, I became the most accomplished professional wrestler in history to date out of Northern Europe. Yes, longevity-wise and contribution-wise, I arguably even eclipsed the late Tony ”Ludvig Borga” Halme of Finland, who worked briefly in WWE between 1993-1994. I became pro wrestling champion the world over, on several occasions, and I still grapple to this day, currently holding a version the German world heavyweight wrestling championship. I’ve coached up talent in six countries to date and I’ve headlined in many of the countries and promotions that I’ve worked in over the past 25 years of my in-ring career. So yeah, I’ve done pretty well for myself and it’s something I can be happy about.

Due to the immense passion that I’ve put into my personal piece of business, I’ve had an effective driver that has propelled me to the heights that I’ve achieved and enjoyed. The reason I can hold my head up is because I’ve done my due diligence and put the time in, and therefore through true achievement I can lay claim to healthy, strong ego and self-respect. Where others have quit, I’ve persisted and fought even harder. I don’t say this to boast, I say it to validate the point made.

Brother, I have hustled and gone the extra mile time and time again for the things that my heart has burned for. And I continue to hustle, because life still continues.

Get Busy!

Life is short, so get busy! Get off your Playstation and Pornhub and start doing something worthwhile. Don’t care what the naysayers and critics think. Don’t listen to their lack of faith and disparaging remarks as to your aspirations or your seemingly, overtly-ambitious, goals. The dogs will always bark as the caravan passes by, such is the nature of the world that we live in. Maybe your wife or girlfriend will bitch you out, thinking whatever you’ve put your heart to achieve is a waste of time. Maybe your family won’t understand if you jump out of the rat race to pursue your true ambitions. Maybe the world around you will hold you to be a fool. Don’t listen, filter it out. You have to know where you are headed. You and no one else. Don’t look for affirmation from the outside. Brother, you have got to know yourself! Get your shit – and your head – together.

Will Smith quotes

You must add value on a constant, unending basis to your life in order to draw value to yourself in turn. Value always comes to value, be it on a micro or macro level, just as water always seeks its own level. If your contribution is valuable in the eyes of those around you – and I mean valuable in a way that no one can discredit or discount that value – you will be successful before long. Maybe not as fast as you’d like, but yes, you will find success. It’s the law of life, you reap what you sow. In the measure that you meet out it will be met to you, to quote the Good Book. And like Simon Sinek says: ”People don’t buy what you sell, they buy what you believe.”

A History of High Achievement

When you look back on your life, it’s not so much what you want them to say about you when you’re gone, it’s how you feel about the actual value of the life you’ve lived up till now. As long as there is breath in your body, it’s never too late to turn your ship around and start living a life of high value.

How does one live and engage in a life of high value? Simply, by pursuing high achievement.

Plain and simple, and especially as men, our self-worth, self-respect and self-value is directly hingent upon how much we feel that our contribution has been worth to those around us. This is where the self-serving, modern mindset fails in spades, as it cannot bring about value due to its selfish nature, which is all about me, me and more me. You absolutely must make it about others, about your contribution to the world around you, no matter the size of your social circle. The social mirror just works this way. It is what it is. You get what you give in the measure that you give.

Coming from a pro wrestling background myself, one of my biggest inspirations early on was a fairly famous wrestler from the 1980s named Tully Blanchard. Tully was most famous for being one of the original Four Horsemen in the mid-’80s and his name has thus gone down in grappling lore. One of Tully’s most famous promo quotes was: ”Be whatever you wanna be, just be the BEST.” That’s something that has stuck with me all these years. Just choose to be as damn good as you can be at whatever endeavor you apply yourself to. Have that amount of personal pride in your doings. Don’t settle for second best. Be a leader, be an alpha.

Motion creates emotion, it’s an old adage and wisdom at that. You cannot feel good about yourself unless you actually do something to justify feeling good. That’s why drugs and alcohol fail to achieve this end. Dopamine, noradrenaline and serotonin simply don’t just get triggered by any random thing. The reward center of the brain is geared to release ”feelgood hormones” only after the justifiable effort has first been put in. Of course, you can sabotage your dopamine levels, for example, through indulging in porn, playing the slot machines or winning at Playstation, but none of those will create fulfillment for you. True fulfillment comes through successful accomplishment, even winning smaller battles along the way, long before the war is ever even over.

The world today is handicapped and plagued by the social sedation brought on by technology and the virtual addictions that come with it. Simply reasoned, people today are less fulfilled than ever, due to the fact that they simply achieve very little outside of the immersion of virtual reality. Watching TV, Netflix, movies and YouTube won’t make you feel fulfilled. Playstation and gamer culture won’t make you feel fulfilled. Engaging with yourself while watching porn won’t make you feel fulfilled. The drought in your spirit won’t go away unless you feed it with meaningful, tangible action. So get busy.

To Sum It Up

In closing, ask yourself one, simple question: ”If I were to die tomorrow, what will have my life have been worth?” The answer should suffice to wake anyone up and start hustling.

Lastly, consider the words of Theodore Roosevelt from his ”Man in the Arena” speech:

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.


Having been in the pro wrestling industry all across the globe for a good quarter-century, I thought to write a handbook or guide of sorts for young wrestlers and newer talents in – or just coming into – the wrestling business, based on what I’ve seen and experienced over my career.

I do this partially out of necessity, as I’ve seen the younger stock damn near kill the ”business” side of the industry for the other workers out there, and in part as a public service to give back to the industry where it stands today.

When I say this guide was born out of necessity, I say so mainly out of the fact that the ”professional” side of our industry is suffering tremendously, even though there are more shows taking place now than at any time in recent memory. Yet, the pay scale is one of the facets being demolished and many a newer talent is to blame for this, be they promoters or workers. I’ve also seen the near-death of actual etiquette in terms of how to carry one’s self in the business, which should be addressed for the welfare of the industry at large. With this in mind, now is the time to listen up, so let us commence with this free, but invaluable, 101 in How To Handle Yourself In Pro Wrestling!

Lesson #1: Act Like a Pro

How to Look in Pro Wrestling

Now kids, boys and girls alike, working for free just to get bookings and paying to play is not the way to go if you want a future in any trade. Earning your stripes and paying your dues while working for nil to free is one or two year period, at most. Back in the day when this business was still a real trade that supported a workers’ family, if any said talent undersold themselves intentionally just to get booked, or if they sabotaged a comrade in the territory by underselling themselves just to get booked, they risked getting the living shit beat out of them by the locker room.

It’s called PRO Wresting for a reason. The Pro word is there to let you understand that you should have the intent of making as much coin at it as you can over the course of your career. You must learn to make yourself valuable. Your work must be worth something. If not, why should anyone pay to see you?

Get real wresting gear, invest in yourself.  Get a good looking pair of tights, singlet or trunks made.  Buy a quality pair of real wrestling boots.  Look the part.  Do not wrestle in sneakers and shorts, to say nothing of a t-shirt.  If you look like a punter, you deserve to be treated like a punter.  If you don’t have enough sun around your climes to get a natural tan, then either hit the solarium or get a spraytan for any and all wrestling shows that you might be booked on.  I cannot stress this enough: look the part.  Look professional.

Now, I understand the way the world is going. I understand that all across the board, in live music, in the postal service, in the construction sector, etc. the jobs are increasingly going to those who will work harder and longer for less pay. This, however, is pure sabotage and is destined to end badly for everyone. You can always negotiate down, but it’s freaking hard to negotiate up. There’s always someone who will do the job for less, as you all know. Make yourself and your personal piece of business so valuable that promoters and fans are going to be willing to pay for your talents, but also, know what the pay scale is. Know your place on the pay scale, based on your experience, number of matches worked, past accolades, current profile and overall value on any said, given card. It’s not grand on the indies these days, by any stretch. Like former WCW wrestler PN News, aka Cannonball Grizzly, so aptly stated back in 2013 in a locker room in Germany: ”I might be a whore, because I sell my body for money. At least I’m not a slut who gives it away for free.”

There have been several gaijins (foreigners) over the last few years who can be held accountable for killing the once extremely profitable wrestling promised land of Japan. These newer faces went in, paying their own three-month visa, paying their own flights, sleeping on dojo floors and making next to nothing in pay just to play superstar and say they’ve wrestled in Japan. Talk about being a mark! It makes me sick to my gut. By the same token, the promoters who took them up on their offers are just as guilty. They collectively killed Japan for the rest of us, for the veterans included, who deserve to make a reasonable living at this game after sacrificing their bodies for so many years. Japan used to be a place, along with Mexico, where a good hand could make a decent chunk of change and maybe even put some of it away in savings. Sayonara now to that notion.

Moral of the story: you must act like a pro to be considered a pro. Period.

Lesson #2: Make Yourself Valuable

AJ Styles

AJ Styles is a classic case of a guy whose work ethic and skills made him valuable, so that he was able to reach the pinnacle of his profession.

Get your look in order. Invest in a gym membership and an experienced, knowledgeable personal trainer if you don’t have the know-how to build your body up to be muscular and strong. You will need that strength in the ring, I assure you, and the look is your aesthetic sales pitch. It’s the mirage of the product before delivery to your audience, after which it’s up to you to you produce — looking like the Big Mac on the menu board, or like the sorry, flattened burger that very well might get handed to you. People do not want to see jabronies that look just like them. If the guy changing your oil at Jiffy Lube could just as easily be a member of Motley Crue, then you have a perception problem because the star aura is sorely missing. Pro wrestling is meant to be bigger than life. Always has, always will be. That said, this is the exact same epidemic that has flattened out and deflated the aura, mysticism and grandeur of rock music at large, in addition to spoiling beauty pageants where the girls actually have to be a cut above the status quo to qualify, to allowing professional politicians into public office who fail to represent the interests of the public at large in any way and just capitalize on personal gain at your expense.

My old coach, Lance Storm, once so appropriately stated that a wrestler need three things to even have a fighting chance at making it in the pro wrestling business: 1) the look, meaning body and image, 2) the actual ring skills and 3) charisma to make people either love or hate you, but no middle ”they’re okay, I guess” ground.

If you lack in any of the three attributes aforementioned, get busy filling in the blanks, because while you’re daydreaming, someone else is hustling and doing what has to be done. And as they say, the early bird gets the worm (read: bookings).

Lesson #3: Don’t be a Mark


Pro wrestling is a bullshitters’ business. Don’t be fooled, everyone is ”working” the next guy, because no one wants to risk losing their spot or moving a peg down. Everyone is looking out for number one. Many would sell their mother down a river to get a foothold over you. Al Snow once aptly said, as we were touring Egypt back in 2009: ”There are no brothers in this business, only business associates”.

Don’t be too gullible for your own good. Take everything with a grain of salt. Believe it only when you have your plane tickets in hand or when you are actually at the said show. Everything up to that point is just talk, and talk is cheap. Truth be told, only after you’ve actually been paid your agreed on wage can you really believe it.

Also, don’t be a mark for yourself. Just because you know how to play the game doesn’t make you King Midas. Don’t think that you are God’s gift to wrestling just because you might look like a million dollars or you can do a reverse 450 Firebird Splash. Don’t think you are indispensable. Don’t think that just because you’ve bought 10 pairs of tights and four pairs of boots that you are somehow better for it than the guy that just has one pair of each.  Never take anything for granted. Stay humble. Be a good sport. Don’t be an egomaniac. Have a strong ego that drives you, but don’t let your ego control you.

Lesson #4: Pro Wrestling is still Territorial

El Ligero

El Ligero of England

You’ve probably heard a million times that the territories died back at the end of the ’80s. Still, the way the wrestling business and promoters operate today is highly territorial. For example, if you live in a place like Finland, at the ass end of the world like myself, and a promoter can get four guys crammed into a car out of Germany to go wrestle in Italy, who do you think they will choose? Hmm. A guy like me, here in the worst possible demographic area on the map, will have to have his shit together and all his sales arguments in line, be relevant and credible and bringing something of salable use to the table, if he hopes to score gigs in the face of this aforementioned, stark reality.

When I say wrestling is still territorial, I’ll break it down for you: a promoter is looking to make as much money as possible and in doing so they look to cut their costs. The promoter will try to take the cheapest route possible, acquire talent from nearby, just like the four-to-a-car model I mentioned, and they will sometimes even try to skimp on offering accommodations if they are able to do so, having you drive back home in the middle of the night. Yes, there are places where the talent gets treated like circus animals, even to this day. Therefore, if a promoter can keep their costs down by taking in talent from right next door, then for you to be considered from several countries away… well, you had better have something that the promoter and their show really needs. You visage on a poster better sell an adequate amount of tickets to cover your costs or you had better have the kinds of skills that make other people (read: local wrestlers of said promotion you wish to work for) look good. Or then you had better be politically important. Or then, you had better have a name in the wrestling business. Unless you are a younger talent with a name like Will Ospreay (read: a well-known internet darling) you can forget the last line I just wrote.

Lesson #5: Pro Wrestling is Ruled by Cliques

The Cliq

If you don’t know the impact of this group, then get busy on Google.

If you don’t belong to a clique, part of somebody’s group of inside faves, your chances of getting booked are slim and rare. I didn’t say slim to none, I said slim to rare. It’s the truth, even if it is a sorry state of affairs. There are shitloads of great guitarists out there who are just as good as Steve Vai or Alexi Laiho who never get anywhere or reach greater acclaim. They simply don’t belong to the right social circle and they aren’t the darlings of a certain clique, so they are shut out of the larger window of opportunity. It’s often not what you know, as valuable as that is, it’s who you know. Age-old wisdom that is, as Yoda would say.

I don’t say this as an exhortation of any sort, that you should start kissing ass and buttering up the nearest influencer, as most of these people can smell you coming a mile away. I would advise you to simply be diligent, hustle, be humble, listen, constantly improve your game and ask for the advice of those ahead of you in the game, carry the veteran’s bags and even get them coffee, and keep putting in the best effort you possibly can each and every time you go out there and step into a ring. It’s called the law of sowing and reaping. It’s the path that I took and I can tell you that it sure as shit ain’t the fast track. It took me a lot longer to get my due and get noticed, because I never kissed asses and never played locker room politics. I invested in making myself the best wrestler I could be. I got the whole package together and honed it down to a proverbial ”T”. I built up my resumé and got my personal piece of business down so solid that it became valuable. Remember: value comes to value, always. My work and ultimately my reputation stood as my calling card. Then, certain circles began letting me in, simply based on the quality of my work and my working ethic, plus the fact that I wasn’t a trouble-maker and I was dependable. I know, the path less taken doesn’t sound very sexy and it doesn’t offer instant gratification.

Still, you can try the asskissing route if you want to try short-cutting your way to the top. No guarantees that it’ll work, however. And I won’t even get into the bookers and promoters who might try implying that you trade sexual favors for bookings. Be forwarned, they are out there. Have the dignity to say NO, even if it comes at the cost of getting booked.

Lesson #6: Every Match is a CV Match

Never ”take the night off”. Never ”just wing it”. Invest yourself in making each and every match as good as you possibly can. Think of what elements you and your opponent bring to the table and tell the best story that you can with those elements in mind.

Remember: you never know who will see your bout. I say this again, because it is pivotally important: think of what elements you will need to apply to best tell the intended story of your altercation. Don’t think that you need to showcase every single move you know, nor ”get all your shit in”. No, you need to tell the story of the match. And not every match needs to be a five-star affair. Maybe that’s not the purpose of your match in the big picture of the overall show. Maybe your position on the card requires something else from you.

Still, you need to come out of it looking like a star, but so does your opponent. Remember, you are only as good as the person that you are in the ring with. If they look like shit, you look like shit. And if you need that last one explained, you need to go back to wrestling school under a better coach.

Lesson #7: Be Adaptable and Always Keep Learning

Adam Flex Maxted

Adam “Flex” Maxted

I’m reminded by a young man I met while on a wrestling tour of Pakistan last year. His name is Adam Maxted from the UK. Adam is very young in the business, but he already has a million dollar body. He’s invested his time in the gym. He’s hungry to learn, constantly taking part in seminars of old warhorses like Marty Jones, always looking to up his game. And voilá… in less than one year since I met him, the kid is already IPW All England champion in the UK and has an upcoming match booked against Rey Mysterio for one of the largest companies there this coming March. Believe me when I tell you: you do not get chosen to be booked against a guy the likes of Rey unless you have all of the various pieces of the puzzle together. Adam deserves all the credit in the world for being a model example of hustling his ass off, being humble, keeping his ears open and being able to learn from constructive criticism. He is on the fast track to becoming a big name in our industry, and he will have earned it by the sweat of his brow, once that inevitable day comes. And once that day does arrive, Adam will have people like Marty Jones to thank, because he has been taught the essentials of what it reads on the marquee: WRESTLING.

The same applies to you. No matter who you are booked against, know your groundwork. Know how to actually wrestle. If your match falls apart, the highspots aren’t going to save you. Garbage wrestling isn’t going to save you, either. The name of the game is still wrestling at the end of the day. Can you pull it off?


Every once in awhile, I feel the urge to write something prolific and meaningful that I hope someone out there will take to heart and be able to adapt or learn from.  One such topic is that of Neomasculinity, something that is rather close to my heart.


Some people might ask “why?”, but those same people will obviously be confused themselves as to their own gender roles and forte(s).  First of all, everyone must understand, that Neomasculinity and MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) are two completely different entities and concepts, which have nothing to do with one another.

Whereas MGTOW urges men to join the “sexodus” crowd (opting to quit pursuing females because of their seemingly unattainable/unfulfillable demands), immerse themselves into gaming culture and just drift in search of something that they’ve been unable to procure or tap into themselves, Neomasculinity urges men to re-establish their standing as the head of the tribe, king of their own home, adopt warrior-like mentality, become responsible and begin acting like Alpha Males.

Yeah, I like the sound and vibe of Neomasculinity, probably because I was raised that way.  At the core, I have always been a classic man.  My parents saw to that, and I have them to thank for the fact that I am not confused about my standing or who I am in today’s ever-convoluted, ambiguous culture and world.

So why all the fuss about Neomasculinity?  Some people get bent out of shape at even the slightest espousal of traditional values.  After all, they seem to be a thing of yesteryear and almost the laughing stock of the media and culture of the day.  Well, Neomasculinity’s argument lies in the fact that no man wants to feel like a chump, a wimp, a whipping boy, a dog on a leash (except for those unfortunate individuals who have tendencies to be “slaves”, which is a certain kind of perversion) or “the weaker half.”

No real man out there would opt for any of the above-mentioned descriptions when speaking about themselves.  Real men want to be respected, feel powerful, in control, leading the dance, hunting the prey, making the kill.  Real men do not play second fiddle to anyone, because they know their self-worth and internal stock value.


I find it quite absurd and even tragically comedic, that the vast amount of YouTubers out there talking about Neomasculinity sound like their balls haven’t even dropped yet.  There isn’t much weight behind their words, because they sound like they themselves are just analyzing the phenomenon, and trying it on for size like an over-sized leather jacket at a clothing store: they don’t own it yet, but they are hoping it would be for them.

Only one source on YouTube has a voice, sans imposing physique to match, however, that carries a credible voice for the cause.  Take a listen to Paul Joseph Watson as he espouses the virtues of Neomasculinity and breaks it down for y’all…

So once again, why Neomasculinity?  Well, because men these days need to man the fuck up.  Men have let things slide, they have given the squeaky wheel of feminism, PC thought and “sexual equality” propagandists the proverbial grease, in the hopes of shutting them up and getting their own way.  Men have not safeguarded their standing in society, their position at the helm of the household, nor their position as leaders that answer for their deeds and show responsibility at the end of it all.

Instead, modern men have become shellshocked, soft, relenting and yes, confused.  They don’t know where they stand anymore, be it in their romantic relationships or in society on a whole.  Men have lost their place, which was etched in stone for thousands of years, and this has not boded well for the modern man, as the spine of society on a whole has crumbled in its wake.  Oh, and men are not well at all.  They are depressed, lost and weak because of their lack of purpose and numbing confusion.

Simply acting like a traditional man is considered offensive and sexist now.  I wonder what icons like John Wayne and Clint Eastwood would say about this.  Well, I know what Eastwood had to say, because he let Esquire magazine have it awhile ago, claiming the generation today is one made up of “pussies.”


Where does that leave men?  Good question.  Scrambling for answers, I’d say, as they try to appease and win over the opposite sex through adapting to the rules of the new game, much like Mel Gibson in the movie What Women Want.  Really, you ask?  Yes, to a large degree.

Men have become players, even moreso than before, because they cannot seem to find any other way to score with the demanding, domineering modern female.  They opt for the one night stand in lieu of a long-standing, serious relationship, because men do not see the long-term payoff in the big picture.  There’s nothing to bank on, nothing worth the investment.  Sad, really.

Back in the day, both sexes brought something valuable to the table – actual life skills like cooking, housekeeping, gardening, mechanical and fundamental competence in line with their gender – and the complementary dynamic of these combined skills made for a promising marriage of opposites.  Nowadays, the counterparts in the relationship are damn near homogenous, and this cannot be a good thing.  Ever.


At the core of it all, men do not want to be controlled or manipulated to facilitate something that they feel is outside of what they can realistically produce.  And why is this?  Because men are still driven by the innate need for respect, to feel strong and to be powerful through and through.  When a man’s deeds and actions are not met with affirmative respect, he loses interest and caring, and proceeds to piss in the wind and “fuck it all.”  When a man does not feel that he is strong, he shies away and tries to cover up his weakness, making him feel like less of a man.  This is not hard to understand, nor is it rocket science.

The younger generation, I’ve noticed, has little to no clue about what it takes to be a man (or to be a woman, for that matter), and they try to overcompensate with things like social media photos of themselves in little to no garb, which only initiates the most primal mating call of them all, and nothing beyond that.  They think that superficial values will get the job done, without having to put in the hard work and persistence of time.


I’ve got news for you, folks.  We’re in trouble.  Our society is on the crux of a great, social overhaul.  Gender roles are being done away with, and if you only care to take a look around with unassuming eyes, you will see that we are in for a shit storm.  The polarity of the sexes, the things and idiosyncrasies that have drawn men and women to each other over the centuries, is being erased.  No one is going to want to invest in the long-term with the opposite sex if the perks, goods and life skills are not there to begin with.  Forget the window dressing, we’re going deeper than the surface here.

So, Neomasculinity is the only clear, healthy answer for men today, period.  It seeks to re-establish the throne and take back the proverbial lost balls of those unfortunate fellas, who let them slip away to begin with.  After realizing such a move only made them feel like shit, their only course of action is to backtrack and reclaim what they should have never parted with in the first place.


I have my parents to thank for a traditional upbringing, with a sense of responsibility, virtue and a strong sense of manliness that has never wavered, even as times have changed.

Make the stand today, gentlemen, or risk losing what is left of your self-respect.

In closing, if anything I’ve said or written here has offended or distraught you… well, to quote my favorite pro wrestling promoter of all time, Bill Watts: “If the shoe fits, wear it.”

If anyone needs further clarification about Neomasculinity, read this.



It’s been brewing for quite awhile now.  Since April of this year, a young, brash (albeit beligerant) wrestler by the name of Ricky Vendetta here in Finland has been boasting high and mighty about how he managed to pin a 3-time European wrestling champion in myself.

Vendetta’s hunger to rise to the top in his chosen field cannot be slighted.  I was once his age, in the same situation as he finds himself now: hungry and determined, willing to take any risk, regardless of its price tag, to achieve greatness.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I’m actually honored.  Honored to have this young doberman pup come after me, as the oldest dog in the yard, looking to take my mantle.  I welcome his challenge, and I will take great personal pride in ripping him apart, as I re-establish to Ricky boy who exactly he has chosen to meddle with.

The thing about young men is this: they become blinded by their ambition.  Life has not yet taught them the hardest lessons of all.  They are in the learning phase, the educational phase of what it takes to really be called a Man.  During this rite of passage, from youth to full adulthood, a young man takes unwitting risks, the kind that will ultimately cost him dearly.  I should know.  At 41-years of age, I can look back on my own life and see these same lessons scattered about.  In hindsight, I can clearly assess what each and every step cost me, what battle scars they left on my being in their wake.

StarBuck vs Ricky Vendetta StarBuck vs Ricky Vendetta StarBuck vs Ricky Vendetta StarBuck vs Ricky Vendetta StarBuck vs Ricky Vendetta

Ricky Vendetta has a world of talent.  He has the kind of burning heart for the pro wrestling business that I have seen few exhibit here in Finland, where I am the founding father and pioneer of our grappling game.  Over the past 11 years, all the way back to 2003, I can count on one hand the other Finnish contemporaries that have tunnelvisioned and set themselves to succeed and achieve like young Mr. Vendetta.  That’s saying alot.

I believe it becomes a literal obligation for mature men to pass down the life lessons that they have learned along this path of mortality to those who are following behind them.  It’s called mentorship, and the lack of such in today’s self-serving society is all too obvious.  All too many young men, and even grown men, don’t have a damn clue.  They wander about aimlessly, not sure of their masculinity, their power, their calling or their talents.  It’s sad, really.  In this light, those who “have it” are morally obligated to pass it on and educate those who are still searching for their personal pot of gold, potential, or what have you.

Ricky Vendetta is going to learn the hard way what it is like to earn your stripes in this game of life.  That lesson will be afforded to him inside of our sacred squared circle, the testing ground of guts and intenstinal fortitude.  It’s a place where men are broken, where boys find themselves missing their mothers.  It’s a ruthless stage, where the wheat is mercilessly separated from the chaff.


On September 13 in Helsinki at FCF Wrestling’s Syyskuun Selkäsauna event, Ricky Vendetta’s shallow boasts about going over not once, but twice, on the patriarch of Finnish professional wrestling, “The Rebel” StarBuck, will come to an abrupt end.  I will not only punish young Ricky, as a father would his son, I will make him submit and scream for his life.  This is a personal vendetta.

I have an inspirational story, one which will both enamor and enthrall a lot of readers.  As everyone knows by now, I am the pioneer of professional wrestling in Finland, dating back to 2003, when I became the first person ever in Finland to take the grappling game to a learning level.  I’ve coached pretty everyone and anyone who has ever come onto the scene out of Finland.  Back before we started domestic Finnish pro wrestling, it bears to be mentioned that there were a few strongmen and bodybuilders, who, being daring showmen as well, dallied in what very well may be considered as backyard wrestling to a large degree in the late 1990s.

There was a circle of four guys: strongman and former amateur champion Jouni Morsky (who wrestled as Normann the Viking), Tony Halme (who wrestled to international fame as WWF’s Ludvig Borga from 1994), bodybuilder Jyrki Savolainen (nicknamed “Indian” RIP; was trained for pro wrestling in Australia in the mid-’90s) and a guy called Boogie “Commando” Mustonen (who was a Finnish and European bodybuilding champion).  Out of the four, I got to know every one of them at some stage during 1997 through their “promoter”, a shyster-kind of fellow who had a few dealings with the Russian mafia.  His name was Jussi, and he was actually put down by the Russians after a deal of some sort went bad.  But it was Jussi who introduced me to Mörsky and to Boogie during the spring of 1997.

Boogie Commando from around 1996-1997

Boogie Commando from around 1996-1997

When I first met him, I thought Boogie “Commando” Mustonen was a big-headed bastard, who thought he knew everything there was to know about the wrestling business.  He had been trained by a bald-headed Andy-something-or-other in Australia in 1993.  I have no idea what this Andy fellow taught Boogie, because he didn’t know anything about the business, period.  The “matches” that the four various Finnish guys were having amongst themselves were far from professional wrestling.  They pretty much consisted of three moves, done to overkill: a bodyslam, a clothesline and an elbow smash.  Everything else was ramshackle brawling.  I was going to the referee between Mustonen and Mörsky in a 2/3 falls match that they’d have in Äänekoski, Finland that summer.  Boogie came across as proud, a real peacock, someone who just let you understand that you were beneath them.  That was 17-years ago, and now, after I met the man again this past week, I am glad to say that he has changed for the better.  Really, there has been a complete turn-around in the person of one Boogie Mustonen.

This past Thursday, I played a leading role in a television commercial shoot for a Sport & Spa hotel named Vesileppis, in Leppävirta, Finland.  It’s really an amazing complex, complete with a 1.4 km ski-track deep underground that you can use even in the summertime, a year-round ice hockey rink, full-blown pool and spa area and tons of outside sports activities and possibilities.  It’s like a nexus, a center for sports in the eastern Finnish province and area in which it is located.  In the commercial, I play myself, complete in wrestling gear, alongside the Vesileppis mascot, which is a ladybug.

The Vesileppis mascot named Spa and me, as I play Sport

The Vesileppis mascot named Spa and me, as I play Sport

Well, Boogie Mustonen literally lives across the road from Vesileppis Hotel, where the wife and I were stationed during my commercial shoot.  The owner of Vesileppis Hotel, a nice guy named Kimmo, wanted to organize a meeting between me and Boogie.  Kimmo told me that Boogie had changed a lot, that he had an entirely new lease on life, after going through some horrendously hard times in his personal life in recent years.  Mustonen has endured bowel cancer, he has had a kidney replaced, and he has gone through a blood poisoning episode, which led in turn to partial paralysis from the waist down for a period of six weeks.  In addition, he has a faithful, old English Bulldog named Möykky, who is on his last legs now.

Boogie's old, faithful buddy Möykky is on his last legs

Boogie’s old, faithful buddy Möykky is on his last legs

Now at age 50, the shit hit the proverbial fan for Boogie this past year, when after going through kidney replacement surgery, he still wanted to compete in bodybuilding one more time at the upcoming annual Fitness Expo in Lahti, Finland.  That is when his wife, Marjo-Nina, served him with an ultimatum, that she would file for divorce if he decided to risk his new, replacement kidney through bodybuilding competition anymore.  The bottom line is, that the worst thing you can do to a kidney is to deplete it of hydration, which is exactly what happens when competitive bodybuilders diet down to the bone, draining their bodies dry to be as cut and lean as possible.  Boogie saw the writing on the wall: game over.

Boogie poses with multi-time Mr. Olympia, Dorian Yates of the UK

Boogie poses with multi-time Mr. Olympia, Dorian Yates of the UK

Yesterday, as I was visiting Boogie at his home gym, he told me that he tried getting excited about discus throwing after his last bodybuilding aspirations went down the drain.  Discus didn’t do it for him, Mustonen knew it wasn’t his game.  Deep down, Boogie Mustonen knew who and what he was: a showman.  He was an entertainer, who loved being in the spotlight.  And something still ate at him, like acid on the soul.  It was his last match, a July 1997 bout against Tony Halme in Joensuu, Finland.  I was referee for their match, which can be seen in the three links below.  It’s not a good match by any stretch of the imagination.  It’s really quite terrible, a complete mess.  It also happened to be, unbeknowst to Mustonen, his try-out match for Otto Wanz’s gigantic CWA (Catch Wrestling Association, in operation 1973-1999) promotion out of Austria.  Had Boogie made good in the match against Halme, he very well might have gotten signed with Wanz, and he could have ended up making money in our business, but it was not to be.

Halme cursed underneath his breath to me after the outing, “Have you ever seen such a shit match?!”

He was right.  It was downright drivel.  Not the way a man wants his career in any field to be remembered.  No, everyone out their wants their last standout memory from whatever etaph along the road of life to be a proud one.  A tale that you tell excitedly about to your grandchildren one day.  That is the marker that you want to leave behind.

Boogie Mustonen never got to clear the table, nor to give his soul rest in this matter.  He never got to wrestle another match, a better match.  A good, final memory.

Tony Halme vs. Boogie Mustonen in Joensuu 1997, with me officiating

Tony Halme vs. Boogie Mustonen in Joensuu 1997, with me officiating

So here we are, in the year 2014, 17-years after the fact, and Boogie tells me that he wants it now.  He wants to come back and clear his name and wash clean his memory of the flop against Halme.  I am astounded as I listen to him.  He has passion in his voice, a determination.  He really wants this.  At 50, he’s not going to be denied.

So I tell him, “I will train you.”  I have the track record to make him take me seriously.  Boogie understands, that StarBuck IS professional wrestling here in Finland.  If you want to go to the top, you have to learn from the best.  And today, even at age 41, I can still say that with the knowledge that I have, I am the best here in this game.  So we did a trade: being a former bodybuilding champion, Boogie coaches me in fine-tuning my body, my chassis, with which I ply my trade.  In turn, I coach him in making a comeback match in Finnish professional wrestling.

Fine-tuning muscle-building techique with bent-over rows

Fine-tuning muscle-building techique with bent-over rows

I hope that Boogie Mustonen has the heart and drive to pull this one through.  Bygones are bygones.  The big-headed bastard from yesteryear has disappeared.  In his place stands a humble, ambitious, grown man, who wants to do his soul and pride right.  I want to support him every step of the way.

It's like the past never happened, Boogie is a great guy!

It’s like the past never happened, Boogie is a great guy!


I just had a flash of visceral clarity today while I was out jogging in the woods. You know, no phone, no Internet, no other voices, no distractions. I just thought to share this moment of clairvoyance with all of you who read my blog.

We live in a day and age of distraction and haze, unlike any other prior in human history. Our brains and minds are overloaded with completely useless information and clutter, with propaganda and worthless entertainment. Much of this, dare I say perhaps nearly all of it, is directly due to our enslavement to technology. In particular, this has to do with the Internet, with smartphones, tablets, PC’s, pads and what have you. Basically anything that keeps a person disconnected with the here and now, live and in living color, in real life. Just think of a group of friends going out on a Saturday night and everyone sitting there, playing with their smartphones.

The sad truth is, that we – and by and in large by this I mean the western, ”free” world – have sold ourselves to the slavery of virtual existence and viral life. We live vicariously through our computers, deceptively imagining that we are somehow part of a huge, global, online community and that our voice counts for something amongst the masses. How foolish we are.

The truth of the matter is, that our brains are overloaded. Our minds are full of fog. We are kept intentionally distracted from what is really going on behind this all in the world. Like iconic comedian George Carlin (RIP) so prolifically once stated, ”Forget the politicians. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice . . . you don’t. You have no choice. You have owners. They own you. They own everything….It’s a big club and you ain’t in it. You and I are not in The big club. By the way, it’s the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. The table has tilted folks. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. Nobody seems to care.”

Fear is the single greatest motivator in the history of mankind. Moreso than love, fear makes people act. Organized religion knows this, the governments know this, global corporations know this. Like acclaimed lifecoach Anthony Robbins so aptly stated, ”We all make decisions based on two forces, and that is to avoid pain and to gain pleasure.”

People are more hedonistic now that at perhaps any time before in world history. Perhaps an argument can be made for Ancient Rome before its fall, but I dare say nowadays we are even more self-indulgent, based on the fact that we are more effectively sold the illusion of luxury and status through the virtual and advertising world and media at large. We are made to want and aspire after things that we don’t even really want in and of ourselves, nor do we need them. Useless clutter. Stuff. Shit to fill up the empty spaces in our lives.


We have come to a day and age of learned helplessness, a chosen self-defeat. We fall back on the excuse that nothing is our fault directly, we can always pass the blame on to someone else, and something or someone doesn’t please us – BANG! Out they go, right out the window. We are a society sick on our own self-indulgence. It’s the grand day of ”me, me me.” Trust me when I tell you, there ain’t no room for ”you” when it’s all about ”me.” No wonder relationships never last nowadays.

This society so desperately needs a strong, swift kick in the proverbial ass that would snap everyone out of their secular haze. Nothing around us is as it seems. Everything is doctored to suit someone else’s bigger purpose at large. Everyone knows that they can’t do much about it, so we just fall back into accepting our fate. How the civilzations of old would mock and scorn us! Speaking only of the vikings, I believe they would have no mercy on our pathetic state of affairs.

The bottom line is: YOU are 100% responsible for your life. At the end of it all, you cannot shift the blame to anyone else for what you have done or left undone. You cannot play the victim and expect anything to change for the better. You will answer and pay the price, or conversely reap the rewards, of your own choices and actions. The bitch of a fact in this whole deal is that you can’t even remain neutral or ride the fence, without taking a side or moving forward, because time keeps ticking away, and stagnancy only results in death. Just think of a cancer cell, if left untreated or unremoved. At the end of the day, no one else is responsible for your life: you alone make it or break it. As the old saying in Finland goes, you are ”the blacksmith of your own destiny.”

It takes personal responsibility to activate empowerment in one’s life. It takes you and I saying, ”I am responsible at least in part for what has happened to me, and I will make the effort to change things.” I am not speaking on high from a soapbox here. I can only call it for what it is, recognizing our collective predicament. I just have clarity. And along with the knowledge that comes with clarity comes the responsibility and obligation to do something with that insight. Having the cure for cancer and keeping it all to yourself will not help anybody in the end.

It’s time to snap out of it. Time to realize that we have been fed a big, long line of bullshit. We have become willfully ignorant, believing that our chosen ignorance will become bliss. Forget viral culture and virtual lives, it’s time to go out there and become active.

In closing, to paraphrase something from acclaimed author Anthony De Mello, ”If you have ears to hear what I just said, then great. If not, woe is you.”

they live

I’ve recently been engaged in some very demanding, specialized gym training programs engineered for online personal training clients of Fit Forever Finland.  In the process of filming these training programs, I’ve been pushed to the limit, as the online trainer and demo guy for these aforementioned programs.  Over the past few weeks, I’ve been huffing, puffing, straining, pushing, pulling, in all kinds of discomfort and duress.

One thing that I’ve really surmised to myself in the past few weeks has been the fact that saying you train hard and feeling like you are in shape are completely relative thoughts in and of themselves.  The reality of the situation might well be completely adverse to your train of thought.  What I mean by this, is that if you are a hard trainer at the gym, per se: you feel that you push yourself to move some pretty good amounts of weight, that doesn’t specifically mean that you are actually as “in shape” as you’d like to think.

Yours Truly in a feature article in Bodaus magazine from Finland a few years ago

Yours Truly in a feature article in Bodaus magazine from Finland a few years ago

Let’s say you have to lose a bit of belly fat, the old love handles, but you argue that you lift hard and eat well.  Guess what?  I have news for you: if you are struggling to reach a certain goal, you still have to up the ante, no matter how much you argue that even now you are training seriously.  What you consider to be hard training is not actually hard at all: it’s status quo FOR YOU.  Your body is USED to the kind of training that you’ve been subjecting it to.  Where you actually are is on a plateau, simply maintaining what already IS.  You are not growing, not developing, nor are you training as hard as you should be.  Sucks, doesn’t it?

Really, the truth is unforgiving and it’s brutal.  I have to admit: I hate having to face up to the truth sometimes.  Trying hard?  Try harder!  Go faster!  Exceed yourself!  It can be damned exhausting, especially when viewing the price you will have to honestly pay to achieve your personal goal.  The truth really is a bitch.

Getting gassed during training is a good sign, it means you are training hard (photo Marko Simonen)

Getting gassed during training is a good sign, it means you are training hard (photo Marko Simonen)

People are all too susceptible to fall into their own, personal comfort zone.  Hey, we all have one!  We all like to feel comfy and just snazzy, just the way we are.  But guess what?  Staying in your comfort zone won’t make you look good on the beach.  It won’t make you feel confident naked.  You can go to the hairdresser all you want, buy as many fitting clothes as you want, take as many carefully-angled selfies of yourself as you want … but none of that is going to mask the truth.  And the truth is something that hits you flush in your self-esteem bullseye every time you look in the mirror.

So, not confident with how you look naked or how you strut your stuff on the beach?  Then start busting your ass harder than you’ve ever tried before.  Get uncomfortable.  Get mad, get motivated, get rid of the excuses that you tell yourself time and time again, as to why you aren’t where you want to be.

There ain't no hiding at the beach

There ain’t no hiding at the beach

Unless you have a serious physical illness or hormonal imbalance, your physical health is not like the wavering stock market: you can actually completely commandeer your body into a lean, mean, healthy & muscled machine.  It’s been proven multiple times, that even the elderly can build muscle and greatly improve their physical fitness and vitality by training regularly.  What you need to get “there” is a map (crystalized vision), the right kind of fuel (a healthy diet), the tools (a proper, tailored training program), heart (complete resolution and determination) and sacrifice (make time for what really counts to you, forget the excuses).

I thought I had been training fairly hard for the past several years.  I was wrong.  Thank God it’s not too late to wake up — there’s still a lifetime to go!

This Friday night in Lohja, Finland, on January 4th, I reached a milestone turning point in my personal life … I proposed to my sweetheart Diana after my wrestling match.  She is the first and only woman that I have ever proposed to, as I have never had that certainty with any single girl in any of my past relationships.  This girl and scenario was a no-brainer for me, I just “knew” that she was “the one”.  Yes, now finally, I understood the intangible element of finding the love of a lifetime.  It’s a mutual knowledge, an internal peace and consciousness that you both share.

I have lived in Finland for 16,5 years, and in this time, I have never encountered a girl worth going to the distance with.  On a very personal note, I felt that Finland was never the most fertile ground for a man like me in the pursuit of romance.  After all, I am a redneck SOB.  I’m like a Texan who was born in Canada and then estranged to Finland.  I make no qualms about that.  I have no shame in admitting the fact that I am like a cross between a ’50s male and a Neanderthal Man.  I am like a motorcyclist outlaw without the vices of drugs and booze, or the wayward lifestyle, or the criminal activities that hang around like a bad shadow.  StarBuck is an anomaly to many, a hard man to figure out.

My own mother said about 15 years ago, that she felt that my wife would not end up being Finnish.  I tried regardless, however … and boy, did I ever try.  I tried making the best out of every situation and relationship, but the fact is, that I am cut out of a different cloth than the modern Scandinavian and Finnish man.  I “didn’t belong”, and I accepted that fact for years.  At times, I thought that I actually found a Finnish lass who understood a man like myself, but I wrongly assessed those attempts and relationships.  A tiger, after all, cannot change its stripes.  Water seeks its own level, and you cannot fool yourself.  It’s the proverbial heart that beats underneath the floorboards.

A lady named Irma that I know out of Jyväskylä, Finland introduced me to my new fiance this past year.  Irma happened to be in Romania, doing volunteer work to help stray animals, and in her work she became friends with a Romanian girl named Diana.  Irma felt that Diana would be a perfect fit for a man like me and I would be a perfect fit for a girl like her.  Irma was right, she showed my online photos to Diana, and that is when God’s divine plan stepped into fruition.  Diana approached me, and the rest, as they say, is history.

SB and Diana


After I pinned Ricky Vendetta in a physical, violent encounter last night, I took the mic and asked my girl to come to the ring from out of the audience.  The accompanying photos tell the story.  Thanks to photographer superb, Marko Simonen, for these shots.  I’ve also included some of Marko’s shots from my match.  Enjoy!

Proposal 04

Proposal 09

Proposal 11

Proposal 15

Proposal 01

match 03

match 04

match 10

match 13

match 16

match 23

match 19
match 26

match 27

I was recently interviewed by Pauliina Tuomola for Radio City in Finland at a private screening of the prolific new movie, God Bless America.

Below you can hear my interview (partly in Finnish, partly in English), with some very sharp comments about the film and its subject matter.

I was interviewed in Finnish by Basso Radio in Finland this morning, listen to the interview here:

Oskari Pastila (the director of both the current Crossfyre video documentary and the upcoming StarBuck movie out in 2013) leaves the camera mugging to me. Photo: Valtteri Pokela

Here is a link in Finnish to the printed addition to the interview: