Alas, as the Good Book says, there is a time and place for all things under heaven.  And so it was this past Friday night, August 10, that after 397 days as the undisputed Valhalla Nordic Wrestling Champion, I was dethroned by “Kid Fury” Timmy Force in Stockholm, Sweden in a 30-minute Iron Man match with a final score of 4-3 as the time ran out.

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I make no excuses and place no complaints.  The better man won that night.  Timmy brought his A-game to the show and he managed to survive at the end just as I was about to tie the match at 4-4, which would have made the bout a draw.  I spike piledrove Timmy in the final 15-seconds of the outing, after which he managed to roll out of the ring to the floor so I had to waste precious time in retrieving him and rolling him back into the ring to make the elusive pinfall to even the score.  But it was not to be.  The time simply ran out.

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Once again, I have to say that the Swedish crowd is one of the most hostile, anti-conservative, liberal-minded, hipster audiences that I have ever worked in front of.  They absolutely hated me.  That said, they got more than their emotional satisfaction’s worth when Timmy was declared the winner and new Valhalla Nordic Wrestling Champion.

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There’s only one thing that young “Kid Fury” needs to know, and that is the fact that the only place to go from the top is down.  I’ve climbed back up the mountain so many times in my long wrestling career that it’s already a familiar path for me.  I know how the ball bounces and how to reclaim former glories.  In so saying, Timmy, you had better enjoy your day in the sun, ‘cos this old warhorse is back on the hunt and trust me as I tell you: your days as Valhalla Nordic Wrestling Champion are numbered.

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And I’m the one that has your number.

(Photos by Maksim Lion)

 

 

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This week on Friday, August 10, I will defend my Valhalla Nordic Wrestling Championship title in a long-awaited rematch against Timmy Force at an place called Under Bron in Stockholm.

StarBuck vs Timmy Force Valhalla Nordic title match Iron Man

It was last year on July 8, 2017 that I defeated Timmy in an all-time Nordic classic lasting almost a half-hour to become the undisputed Valhalla Nordic titleholder after being named interim champ by STHLM Wrestling owner Samantha Fox (YES, that Samantha Fox, famous pop star from the ’80s) and STHLM Wrestling president Messiah Hallberg.

Now, just over one year later in the same city where I won the strap, I’ll be defending it once again in a 30-minute Iron Man match, where the rules stipulate that the man with the most decisions within 30-minutes claims the championship.  Falls can be accumulated by pinfall, submission, countout or disqualification.  Once the time-limit expires, the wrestler with the most falls wins the match and lays claim to the Valhalla Nordic title.

Timmy Force put up a hell of a fight last year, wowing and impressing even the WWE staff that was on hand to witness our classic encounter, so I can only expect that he will bring his A-game to the championship match this Friday at Under Bron.

Timmy has had one year to get better, to improve his game, up the ante and work the kinks out of his collective machine.  Now, he has as good of an opportunity as he is ever going to get to vie for my title, so he’d better have put in the work if plans on having a chance against me in Stockholm.

This August 10 match will be my seventh title defense after winning the Valhalla Nordic championship back on July 8 last year.

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Over the past year or so I have mulled over possibly starting my very own service revolving around pro wresting.  This summer, I decided to go for broke, as they say, and launch SLAM! Wrestling Finland.

SLAM! Wrestling Finland banner

SLAM! is an on-demand service that offers the client buying the show to choose the kinds of wrestlers that they’d want to see at their event.  Be it the muscular beefcake, the monsterous leviathan, the high-flier, female wrestlers, whatever it may be, we SLAM! Wrestling Finland supplies that demand and need.

The client also gets to decide what types of matches they want to see and host: singles matches, championship matches, tag team matches, Triple Threat matches, etc.  Plus, the client decides how many matches in total they wish to have at their event.

This approach to professional wrestling is revolutionary and I believe it offers people something completely outside the box.  Take a look at the just-released Story Behind SLAM! video below to get depth into the saga leading up to this venture:

Also be sure to take a look at our promotional trailer detailing the offering made possible through SLAM! Wrestling Finland:

The unique thing about SLAM! Wrestling Finland is that it puts the power into the client’s hands.  The client becomes the promoter and is able to get exactly the kind of product that they want for their money.

With my 25-years in the pro wrestling industry worldwide, I can get you, as the client, any kind of wrestler that you would like (outside of WWE, the talents of which are exclusively bound to only work for WWE).  You set the budget, we supply the line-up.  It’s as simple as that.

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Clients can choose from attractive top European female wrestlers like Betty Rose from Sweden (left) or Shanna of Portugal (right), or monster men like Tiny Iron, who is a former bodyguard of popular musical artists such as The Black-Eyed Peas, Beyoncé and 50 Cent!

Go to SLAM! Wrestling Finland for more and take a look at our roster and show formats being offered for all kinds of events and happenings!

Contact us today for an offer for your event: info @ slamsports . eu

This upcoming Friday night, July 27 in the dead heart of Finnish summer, I will be taking on the challenge of not just one, but two opponents, at the same time in an FCF Championship Triple Threat match at Ropecon 2018 in Helsinki.

For those of you who don’t know, Ropecon is Finland’s largest annual role-playing and gaming convention, held at Helsinki’s Messukeskus Expo and Convention Centre.  It’s attended by tens of thousands of folks over the weekend in question.  For the third time, FCF Wrestling will be a part of Ropecon once again this year.

Ropecon 2018 Triple Threat

In the main event of FCF Sideshow: Ropecon Edition, I will be putting my prestigious FCF Championship title on the line against both #1 contender Stark Adder and #2 contender Salomon Strid in a Triple Threat bout.  That, of course, means that it’s every man for themselves, everyone against everyone simultaneously, and whoever gets the pin or submission walks out of Ropecon with the FCF title.

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Now, I’ve faced Salomon Strid and Stark Adder many times in the past.  They are no strangers to this time-tested dog of war.  But regardless, I have never faced both veterans at the same time.  This is the key factor in this match.  Both guys are hungry, both are former FCF champions and both want that title back again around their own waists.  If ever, now is the time that I’ll have to be slick and sly as I attempt to navigate successfully through these shark-infested waters on July 27.

What you have in this match are three of the very best wrestlers in all of Finland today.  You have the cream of the crop.  It could be anyone’s ballgame.

Be there, July 27, next Friday, with a start time of 20:00.

This past late autumn, we hit the studio with Stoner Kings in preparation for our forthcoming third studio album, which, granted, has been a long time coming. It was last in 2006 that we released our sophomore album, Fuck The World, and back in 2001 we released our debut, Brimstone Blues. Now, after making our comeback to gigging and recording in late 2016, we have orienteered ourselves, looking to make album number three come to fruition.
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Gang vocals for chorus lines (l-to-r): Joonas Vepsä, StarBuck, Hannu Leiden, Mikko Metsäruusi

Truth be told, I had written almost all of the songs for our forthcoming album already back in the first half of the 2000s, between Brimstone Blues and Fuck The World. A few of our newer numbers, such as Cro-Magnon and Bray With The Damned, are newer compositions of the past few years, but overall, most of the material that will make it’s way onto our third LP has its roots fifteen or so years back! These songs have been sitting on the drawer, packed away, unused and waiting for the right moment. If the wheel ain’t broke to begin with, there ain’t no use in fixing it, and therefore we’ve worked on honing these previously written, unreleased songs to resound with the Stoner Kings sound as it stands in 2018.
Joonas Vepsä Stoner Kings studio

Joonas lays down some mean and ornery guitar leads

Just this past week, we once again hit the studio under the auspices of producer Hannu Leiden and sound engineer Eero Kaukomies at both Sonic Pump Studios (where we laid down drums, bass and rhythm guitar tracks) and Content Union Studios (where we performed guitar leads and vocals) in Helsinki. We previously recorded with these fellas at the same studios in late 2017, the aftermath of which saw us release singles Cro-Magnon, Bray With The Damned, Universal and a remake of 2001’s Brimstone Blues favorite, Limbonic Void.
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Rude pulls off some groovy bass lines

The new songs this time around that we recorded are entitled Bigger Louder Harder, Fucked A.D., Bringing Out The Dead and Damnation’s Own, the last of which we demoed with the third incarnation of Stoner Kings back in 2007 at Samu Oittinen’s FANTOM STUDIO in Tampere, Finland (here below).
I’m sure our followers and fans will be thrilled with the results of our new material, as some of it is more brutal than ever before, whereas select songs have melodic hooks and commercial appeal that will surprise you. Overall, however, you can expect the best Stoner Kings album to date, complete with the promise that we are bringing the roots of rebellion and counter-culture back to world of rock. Whereas everyone is so afraid of rocking the boat and kowtowing to the liberal ideology of modern day society, we are bringing in the counter-strike.
Stoner Kings in the studio

JJ and I listen like hawks to make sure everything goes down by the book

Rock music initially was dangerous, defiant and very much counter-culture oriented. It spoke out against the political undercurrents and popular ideologies of its time. Sadly, rock music has become nothing more than a corporate mule in our modern times, toting the ideocracy of the ruling class, extolling mass social sentiment and offering little more than cheap, lightweight chants to entertain indoctrinated neophytes. Rock has lost its soul. The danger is gone, the spirit is dead.
Stoner Kings are bringing in a revolution in this sense. It’s time. It’s damn time.
Our next gig will be on August 3 at Semifinaali in Helsinki with black metal legends Barathrum and punk rockers Blueintheface in a real mixed salad of a night, and at this gig we’ll have two session musicians filling on on bass and drums, as Rude and JJ are unable to attend due to summer engagements overseas in the USA.  Our original bassist Perttu “Gonzo” Sutinen will be making a one night comeback at Semifinaali and Mikko Metsäruusi from Black.44, with whom we played last year in Tampere, Finland at Jack The Rooster, will be filling in on the skins.  This is going to be a truly interesting night… come on out!!!

After a very fruitful weekend of wrestling, I am feeling better than ever right now!

It was just this past Saturday night on May 26 in Helsinki at Gloria cultural arena where I faced the feisty and ambitious challenge of a man nearly half my age in Mikko Maestro.  And not only did I face him and defend my FCF Wrestling championship title, I defeated my challenger in nearly 26 hard-fought minutes at FCF Wrestling‘s Wrestling Show Live! Omega event.  Some may question the way I won, but the bottom line is that I won.

Maestro was full of piss and vinegar.  He had prepared long and hard.  He’d gotten himself into prime ring shape.  He’d gotten his head in gear.  But still, after all was said and done, he couldn’t unseat the reigning champion, and therefore, you’re still looking at him!  And not only did I beat Mikko Maestro, I also took the liberty of firing his audacious ass after he immediately demanded a rematch following my win, considering that I am the FCF General Manager at this time.  You simply don’t cross the boss, and Mikko Maestro should have honestly known better.  And before the match ever took place, I told him this was his one and only shot… and it would be the shot that was going to miss.

Then on Sunday, May 27, I faced the challenge of my old rival Stark Adder at the Power Expo in the city of Lahti, Finland.  Adder had won a 12-man battle royal match earlier at the Power Expo that day to qualify as the challenger for my Valhalla Nordic wrestling championship and I was more than happy to face him again.  Truth be told, Adder and I always have hard, quality matches that can go either way.  It’s like a flip the coin, heads or tails.  This time, Adder ate a superkick in the ring corner that rocked his world to the core and allowed me to capitalize on the fact that he wasn’t all there anymore for the rest of the bout.  In the end, I put him away with a sleeper hold that I held onto like a pitbull, refusing to let go.  After a valiant struggle, Adder’s lights went out.  No one would have believed the match would finish on that note, but dammit all, when a veteran applies a sleeper, it’s not some useless, throw-away hold like it’s become for so many young pups these days.  Kids, you have got to master your craft and learn to apply your holds correctly, and that said, this sleeper was a finisher!

Right now, I simply can’t see anyone on the horizon who has what it takes to wrestle away my championship titles from me.  Like fine wine, I just keep getting better with age.  Next up, Germany in mid-June!

(Photos by Marko Simonen)

Check out the brand spanking new Stoner Kings mini-documentary and music video for our song Limbonic Void, shot by our good friends, pro video team Marko Simonen and Jarmo Katila.  Marko edited the video together, doing a helluva job!

This feature was filmed on March 3 this year at Helsinki’s Nosturi, as we opened for the legendary Fu Manchu from California, USA.  This gig was one of our definitive career highlights over the past 18 years since our inception, and we wanted to record it for posterity.

You can catch Stoner Kings LIVE next tonight, May 3, at Helsinki’s Bar Loose, as we play the prelim round of this year’s Tuska-Torstai band contest.  There are six bands in total on the bill – Stoner Kings, Grin, Saints For Mass Production, Licuation, The Nomad and Torchia – each showcasing their best wares, with the first act hitting the stage at 20:00 and us finishing last at 22:30.  Come on out and cast your live votes and help usher Stoner Kings to the main stage of this summer’s Tuska Open Air metal festival in Helsinki!

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Drawn and inked by Yours Truly, digital colors by Crystal Hughes (www.jenired.deviantart.com)