On July 29 at Ropecon (Role-Playing Convention), to be held at the Helsinki Expo and Exhibition Center, I will take on my Spandex Sapiens arch-rival, the gender-bending Jessica Love one last time. I say one last time because this time, I will stamp out my opponent for good.
Last time we fought, at the LGBT crowd’s Eurogames on July 1 in Helsinki, I broke Jessica Love’s arm. Like the old saying goes about a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest, so it goes with Jessica Love in a fist-fight. Now, I wouldn’t put it past my adversary to show up with arm in sling, because Jessica is just that thick in the head, daring to brave danger head-on. Actually, that is quite admirable. But it will also prove to be Jessica Love’s downfall on July 29.
Now, a lot of people are still asking why, much like Anakin Skywalker turning into Darth Vader, why did StarBuck turn to the dark side? I find this quite amusing actually.
I said this at the Eurogames event on the microphone in front of the masses, and I will say it here again: I didn’t turn my back on anybody. I have stood for traditional, straight, masculine values as long as I have been around. Certainly, my entire media career I have toted the same line and stood for the same, unwavering cause. I have never flinched or backed down, even in the face of adversity and backlash. Now, in 2016, when my movie Spandex Sapiens came out, people had a chance to take and pick a side. You could either side with my counterpart, the transgender, liberal, Jessica Love, or you could side with a real man in the iconic, conservative StarBuck. It was really a simple choice. Whatever resonated with you and your world, you could freely choose black or white, left or right. And the people chose Jessica Love.
Looking back, I can say that I have not changed at all. I have stayed the course. Society and the flavor of the day has changed. I have lived long enough as the hero to see myself become the villain. The people have chosen. The people have spoken.
So it is now, on July 29 at Ropecon, that I will do what a vigilante and lone wolf would do in terms of personal agenda. I will put down, once and for all, the ambiguous hero of your modern day liberal Finland and western world at large. I will trample underfoot Jessica Love for the final time, arm in a sling and all. And I will do it without remorse.
You, the audience, have given rise to the anti-hero. Now deal with it.
Spandex Sapiens movie theater showtimes this week:
July 19, Tuesday 18:15
Tampere: Arthouse Cinema Niagara
July 21, Thursday 20:30