Yesterday, the long-awaited feature film story about me, Spandex Sapiens, came out in Finnkino movie theaters across the country of Finland. To celebrate and promote this monumental occasion, FCF Wrestling held a 6-hour wrestle-thon, outdoors in downtown Helsinki, smack-dab in front of the city’s main movie theater, Tennispalatsi.
In the main event, to tie in to the Spandex Sapiens movie release, I fought against transsexual Jessica Love in a battle of both values and polar opposites, as Jessica is the main, free-thinking, liberal antagonist vs. my traditional, conservative, masculine prototype in the movie.
As I wrote in one of my latest blogs, I really believe that the people at large on a societal level will find themselves choosing a side in this movie and the themes and values systems presented therein. This was proven in blazing, vivid colors last night on the premises of Kampin Keskus, where the wrestling ring was set up in front of Tennispalatsi theater, when I got into the ring to take on Jessica Love.
Telling the truth, and having a whole audiences mindset turn against me. (photo: Aki Mäki)
I gave a heated and hearty promo prior to our match, where I chagrined over the lack of moral absolutes and black-and-white principles in our modern society. I challenged the crowd on hand to look into their souls and ask themselves if they really exemplified real masculinity as men, and real femininity as women, seeing how messed up our modern culture is in all its ambiguity. The people started to turn against me, almost as if they were programmed to do so. Brainwashed by the mass media and public sentiment of the day, the crowd became an angry mob. Someone told me afterwards, that they were afraid that someone from the audience would rush the ring amidst my match with Jessica Love.
Taking control of the match! (photo: Aki Mäki)
Jessica Love and I had a damn war of attrition (hell, I even penned the lyrics to a song by the same name by my thrash metal band Angel of Sodom!), in which we tore into each other with the kind of malicious intent that only two polar opposites could create! The ring was slippery as hell, as the sky began to sprinkle rain just as our match began. The canvas might as well have been an ice skating rink, making it damn hard to maneuver and get one’s timing down. It was risky all around, but the sheer personal nature of our battle overrode all else. The people present could certainly feel the tension in the air. It was as real as it gets, folks!
Balsara.net captures the raw emotion of the finish of our match!
In the end, I had such trouble getting my footing because of the rain, that Jessica was able to crack me with a nasty enzugiri, which put me down on the mat. Jessica climbed the ropes to come off the top onto me with a senton splash, which I was able to roll out of the way from. I then immediately hit my trademark spike piledriver for the inevitable pinfall and win.
The audience erupted in boos and jeers. The people had spoken. A virgin wrestling audience, peoples of all different nationalities, chose a side. They went with the liberal, free-thinking brainwashing that they have been programmed to believe. Somehow, I am not surprised. As the referee in our match, Teemu, stated a few weeks ago on social media in regards to my person, “You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.”
This is only the beginning. Just as the theater run for Spandex Sapiens has just begun this weekend, so the issue between myself and Jessica Love goes on. The next time we meet in the ring, it will be in front of Jessica Love’s own LGBT demographic. On July 1 in Helsinki, an event called Eurogames will take place in the city center. It’s a huge sporting event, in conjunction with the annual Gay Pride parade in Helsinki.
There could be no greater heel than StarBuck when it comes to this event. There could be no more sympathetic a babyface than Jessica Love when it comes to this event. When the gates open to the public at 12:00 on July 1, right out of the blocks, this war of attrition gets a second chapter. Jessica Love vs. StarBuck takes center stage at Eurogames, and it’s going to be a cold day in Hell-sinki for my transgender opponent when he/she goes down again, only this time, in front of his/her own people.
StarBuck vs. Jessica Love – chapter 2 – Eurogames, Helsinki – July 1
For anyone who missed the mass media exposure for Spandex Sapiens in Finland this week, here are a plethora of links to check out!
http://www.iltasanomat.fi/viihde/art-2000001202020.html
http://www.hs.fi/urheilu/a1466055697006
http://areena.yle.fi/1-3518002
http://www.radiorock.fi/#!/post/5763d6960089b403009a2303
http://www.episodi.fi/elokuvat/spandex-sapiens/
http://www.katsomo.fi/#!/jakso/626288
starbuck.fi 
The new Anti-Hero
Posted: July 2, 2016 in Entertainment, Professional Wrestling, Social commentary, Spandex SapiensTags: conservative, Eurogames, FCF Wrestling, fight, Finnkino, Helsinki Pride, Jessica Love, LGBT, liberal, Pro Wrestling, StarBuck, transgender
It’s rather peculiar that I wrestled at a Pride event yesterday. A Cro-magnon, retrosexual, hetero heel, the worst possible prototype villain of the queer culture, wrestling at Eurogames. Held in downtown Helsinki under the blazing hot summer sun, Eurogames was an LGBT event, which expressly wanted to see “The Rebel” StarBuck vs. Jessica Love center stage, stemming from the hype surrounding my Spandex Sapiens movie in Finnkino theaters currently.
As most all of you should know by know, Jessica Love is Europe’s only transgender female pro wrestler. In the Spandex Sapiens movie, Jessica Love plays my worst adversary, especially from the point of values and societal values. We are polar opposites, like east and west. Jessica is the all-allowing liberal modern-day representative, whereas I am the conservative caveman who holds on to black and white principles and ideals.
Well, wrestle I did. And not just wrestle. I used the opportunity presented to make some of the most poignant social comments to be heard publicly in today’s suffocating, politically correct environment. I let loose and let it be known, that the men these days are no longer men, nor are the women any longer women. They are confused. Not just gender-confused, I mean confused in general. The statistics prove it! Look at the depression in our society. Look at the kids, how lost they are in terms of their own identities. Look at the mass divorce rates and the ever-growing numbers of single moms. I made my point loud and clear, and the Pride-friendly crowd on hand did NOT like it one single bit.
StarBuck preaches the truth at Eurogames (photo: Pasi Murto)
Yet, it was hard to refute what I had to say. I heard boos, sure. But not the kind of heart-felt boos that come from disdain and spite. They were moreso boos that towed the political line of the day, trained monkey kinds of boos. I believe people in their hearts knew, that I was telling the truth. It gets harder to hate a person when they tell you the truth and the truth is simply inconvenient for you.
So there I was, taking bullets in the chest and in the back for every traditional, hetero person out there, who does not have the spine or the balls to stand up for what they believe in. I went head-long into battle, alone! I sent out a load of emails prior to Eurogames, urging traditional, conservative folks and organizations of that ilk to come out and support me, “The Rebel” StarBuck, as I duked it out with Jessica Love in front of the entire LGBT community in Helsinki at this Eurogames Pride event. Guess what? NO ONE dared to show up. Not one, single group or backer of the traditional nuclear family unit showed up to support StarBuck. For this, the entire traditional, conservative front in Finland should hang their heads in shame!
I went into that match yesterday with Jessica Love a one-man army. A legend in my lifetime. A man who stood, where no others dared to stand. A lone wolf in a strange land. And I destroyed Jessica Love! I broke Jessica Love’s arm in the process. Boo-hoo. I made a statement, because extreme times call for extreme measures. You are going to remember my name! StarBuck. Get it right. It has nothing to do with coffee.
Jessica Love got to take a trip to the hospital after our match and all of a sudden, the LGBT crowd had lost their hero. Now they had a real reason to hate me. But as the saying goes, the best direction to ride a horse is in the direction that it is already headed. Haters are going to hate anyway. Give them their anti-hero. Give them what they deserve.
Jessica Love was scheduled to face me a second time in the main event of the Eurogames wrestling program later yesterday night. Well, there was no Jessica Love in sight, so out comes King Kong Karhula, defending his friend. This, in and of itself, has more to it than can be seen at surface value. Karhula recently wrote a blog of his own about his friendship with Jessica, telling of how close they are and have been for many years, even when they were feuding. In the pro wrestling business, that is called breaking kayfabe, and it is considered a cardinal sin. Karhula not only pissed all over the traditions of our business and age-old tradition, he conveniently went “into business for himself”, trying to push Jessica’s starpower in my Spandex Sapiens movie through aligning himself at this time with my transgender foe. I saw it as shameless mooching on Karhula’s part, reeking of desperation to get his own rub off the whole shebang.
Be that as it may, since Jessica Love could not wrestle with a freshly-broken arm, in comes Karhula to take Jessica’s place in the main event against Yours Truly! Toting a gay pride flag on his way to the ring, I really wondered where Karhula’s true feelings and allegiances lay. I found it both amusing and pathetic. But I will say this: Juhana Karhula came to fight. He was incensed, full of piss and vinegar. He attacked me with the kind of emotion that is rarely felt, and the people on hand felt it too. The heat was off the charts. Karhula was a man possessed, tearing into me as we brawled, before I could turn the match in my favor and run him head-first into the ring post.
My wife Diana happened to be at ringside with her new camera, taking pics:
I was able to find one single sympathizer to the traditional, conservative family cause, and that was FCF Wrestling’s Teuvo. Although he’s a beer-swigging hick, Teuvo is a man of principle. He still believes in black and white, too. So I had him come out with a Straight Pride sign and act as my one, single backer at this LGBT Eurogames event. Teuvo even got in some kicks of his own on Karhula, once I left him laying at ringside.
I blasted Karhula with all I had, having a hell of a time doing it, too! The crowd was irate and hot as hell. I hammered Karhula until we both got knocked down center-ring. Karhula had that entire Eurogames crowd behind him, as he rallied a comeback against me. Teuvo made his presence known at the most-critical moment, blasting Karhula with an open beer can in the face, allowing me to capitalize on Karhula’s misstep and roll him up for the pin and win. Sure, he got up and dropped both Teuvo and I with a Death Valley Driver afterwards, but my win was already in the history books, right in front of the most antagonistic crowd that I could ever imagine wrestling in front of.
My main event win was not only a win for StarBuck, it was a win for the entire Straight Pride cause. Where no one has the guts to stand up and make some noise for what they really believe in, should it deter from the ruling PC thought of the day, because they fear public sentiment and others’ public opinions so much, one man took the bull by the horns and led the charge. The man that took the bullets and arrows for everyone else, for those who didn’t have the guts to stand when called upon, that man stood tall in the end. Isn’t that what an anti-hero is? It sure as hell is in my book.
If you wish to hear my legendary promo as well as see the video of my matches with Karhula and Jessica Love from Eurogames, like FCF Wrestling’s Facebook page and see the bouts there! Otherwise, here are some stellar clips from my match against Jessica Love as well as the other matches at Eurogames, filmed and edited by the talented Juha Sihtola of Mad-Cam!