What do you really want out of life?

Posted: January 21, 2011 in Life coaching

Forrest Gump said ”Life is like a box of chocolates: You never know what you’re gonna get.”

In truth Tom Hanks’ character in that movie was only partially correct with that assessment. We all make the beds that we ultimately lie in. There are very few of us who have a gun held at our heads in light of the decisions that we make.

That said, it’s kind of funny watching certain people in the course of leading their lives as they grumble at their predicaments and trials. Life coach Anthony Robbins aptly put it when he said, ”Most people have never clarified what it is that they truly want, so they end up just settling for whatever comes their way.”

Now that, my friends, is true.

If you have not crystalized your goals in life, it becomes increasingly hard to hit a target that you cannot see. There is a price to pay for all things in life, because there is no such thing as a free ride and everything carries a price tag. It’s all about action and reaction, or action and consequence.

Our modern age is one of easy disposability, complete with no strings attached mentality and mindset. It’s also fast food for the most part, which is why everything is so easily disposable to begin with.

The bottom line is: If you have not had to place a high personal investment of your own time/resources/self into whatever it is that you ultimately get – whether that be relationships, material possessions or what have you – you will not look at it or treat it with high regard. Whatever comes easily is easily disposable, period. Value on the other hand is expensive as hell, and takes considerable time to cultivate. This is the definitive difference between franchise burger joints and made from scratch cuisine.

If I may pitch a mental image for the sake of conversation: You are hungry in a garden full of apple trees, but the apples are raw. If you pick the apples and indulge to satiate your hunger, the bitterness of the raw fruit will make you spit it out and you will be left with not only a sour taste, you will also be just as hungry as before. You have to wait for the apple to mature until fully ripe to enjoy its reward, so to speak. The same is true for all things of any lasting quality in this life.

Queen nails it on the head with the message in this song, but is it really so?

Most people in our western society want instant gratification, so thereby they pass up quality for quick fixes that promise much but deliver little. And the grumbling intensifies.

You always know the tree by the fruit that it bears, folks.

If it looks like a duck, talks like a duck and walks like a duck, chances are it IS a duck. The truth of the matter is most people want something for nothing. After all, we as human beings are by nature lazy SOB’s if left to our own devices. Very few are willing to pay the high price for a better standard of whatever it is that they are after. Not only do they lack the focus of the goal they aspire to, they lack the drive and wherewithal to get to wherever it is they want to be. And that is when excuses come into the picture.

”My Dad was an alcoholic, that’s why I am the way that I be.”

”I was abused when I was young, that’s why I am the way that I be.”

”I was dealt a crappy hand of cards, that’s why I am the way that I be.”

But remember folks, there are no such things as excuses, only reasons why things don’t get done.

Your own decisions mold your personal destiny, and your actions are born of personal volition. You are the architect of your life, no bones about it. In the end, YOU are the one who decides. YOU are the one who pulls the trigger.

How many times have you heard someone claim that they didn’t have the time for whatever? What a crock of hooey! Every single one of us has exactly as much time was we want for those things that we truly want and aspire to or want. Life itself proves this, time and time again, regardless of any refuting claim that anyone can throw my way.

So my question to you is: What do you really want out of life?

Not what does society, your parents or your peers want or expect from you. What do YOU want out of your one and only trip here on Planet Earth?

This is your box of chocolates, and you get to pick.

So whatever it is that you truly want out of life, do yourself a favor and put it on paper – make it crystal clear so it’s not just a figment of your psyche drifting in and out of awareness – and place it on your wall/door/fridge as a constant reminder of where you are headed. Assess the price that it will require to achieve whatever it is that you have set for your personal standard or goal. Resolve to pay the price for quality. And pay the full price. Don’t settle for a life of second best and close but no cigar, because those stories are depressing and defeatist.

No parent tells their kid ”This is the last time you try to walk, you little brat! Next time you fall on your face, that’s it – you stay down!”

Au contraire, every parent in their right mind says ”My kid is going to keep on trying until they learn to walk!”

So why should we – as responsible adults – give up when the going gets tough? Aren’t the hurdles set before us to clear and jump over? So persist until you make it. Resolve to pull through and reach the finish line. Make the goal.

Life is a game for winners. And no one wants to be a loser.

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