The power of the will

Posted: March 3, 2011 in Life coaching

Here’s a good one.

Spring is almost here, and thank God for that! Most people get all wound up over losing weight and getting into shape for the beach et al every year around spring time. At the latest, that is when the reality of physical aesthetics on a personal level becomes prevalent.

Using that one single example as noted above, it’s important to understand that nothing moves and nothing happens without personal volition.

Volition is sheer will, plain and simple. It is the driving force that makes things happen.

Without the will to do and perform being present, the skill to do and perform has no meaning or credence whatsoever. Just because you can do the job does not necessarily mean that you will do the job.

Nowhere is this as applicable as in relationships. Many of us – myself included in the past – have been in relationships where the other person might have had all the tools necessary to get the ”job” done, but they did nothing and you seethed with frustration. Perhaps you even cut loose of that relationship, because the other person was not taking action based upon crystal clear information given, knowing the need present, and all you were left with was a vacant hole inside of yourself.

On a certain flight from Miami to London (UK), I asked a very charming lass sitting next to me, who was a couples counsellor, what the main reasons for divorce and the mass amount of failed relationships are these days. After all, I figured this was a pristine opportunity to get the goods straight from a pro – for free!

She gave me three reasons for why seemingly everyone is somebody’s ex: 1) Sex outside of the relationship, be it extra-marital or otherwise, with someone other than one’s current and steady partner, with the argument that ”It was ONLY sex!”; 2) ”What did I see in that person to begin with?! We have nothing in common!”; 3) ”I hear what you are saying and I completely understand, but to be honest … I could give a damn!”

Number three. Third strike and you’re out! Oh yeah, that one there is one of the biggest busts in relationship history, folks. I hear what you are saying, but to be honest, I could care less about your needs and your happiness = the will to do is NOT PRESENT.

Now when the will to do and perform is not present, the bottom line is that the person who is guilty does not have enough empowering reasons to move their keister and play ball. There are no such things as excuses, only reasons why things don’t get done.

Case in point: Liver damage.

If you take a person who is a lush, heavy into the booze, and send them to a doctor who diagnoses them with a liver that is ready to rupture and say sayonara, you will either have a corpse on your hands or then you will have a personal revival – complete with redemption aka a 180 turn. In such a scenario, if the reason is weighty enough, the catalyst will quit the booze straight up out of sheer fright, in the fear of losing their life. Or then they will give up the ghost and head six feet under in short order.

Once the will to do kicks into gear, there’s nary anything that can stop the force of personal volition. You have GOT TO WANT IT, and want it ENOUGH, or nothing is going to happen. Period.

Once everyone of us realizes that point, we will start treating people like we ourselves would hope to be treated, and we will start living with integrity because we will realize the good that personal volition will bring into our lives. And once again, the spinning of wheel of Karma takes another spin.

Think about that line of reasoning for a moment.

And then fill in the blanks…

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