Wow!  How did this come about?!  Like the title reads, Finland beat Russia via Estonia, or should I say, an “assist” from Miss Estonia, in yesterday’s monumental and historic Finland vs. Russia encounter in Helsinki at Snacky Slam between myself and Ivan Markov.

Russia’s premiere wrestler and former 3-time Russian champion Ivan “Locomotive” Markov brought his wife Natalia along as his flagbearer and second at ringside, so the Snacky promoter decided to even the odds by putting Miss Estonia, Kristina Karjalainen, in my corner as both a second at ringside and as the Finnish flagbearer.

Miss Estonia Kristina Karjalainen bears the Finnish flag

Miss Estonia Kristina Karjalainen bears the Finnish flag

Natalia Markov interfered and got involved in our match on several occasions, just as I was about to turn the tide against her husband, Ivan.  Again and again, I was thwarted by Natalia’s timely interference in this No-DQ/No-countout match.  It looked like the odds were stacked against me until Miss Estonia decided to do something.  Well, actually, she did something twice.

Natalia and Ivan Markov

Natalia and Ivan Markov

When Natalia raked my face with her nails as I was beating down a hailstorm of fists on the head of her man, Kristina Karjalainen took to the fore and got right up in Mrs. Markov’s grill.  A hellacious catfight broke loose, with both women looking to tear the hair out of each other’s scalps, before the referee finally separated the women.

Kristina Karjalainen and Natalia Markov got into it too!

Kristina Karjalainen and Natalia Markov got into it too!

After Ivan had jump-started the match by attacking me with his Russian flagpole before the bell, I had to fight for my life in the underdog role, as he poured the heat on heavy.  The match was very physical, with big bombs being thrown to and fro, back and forth, before Miss Estonia finally turned the tide of this new Cold War.

Wailing away on the head of Ivan Markov

Wailing away on the head of Ivan Markov

Getting up on the ring apron, Kristina removed the robe she had on and got Ivan’s attention from the ring apron.  Ivan and everyone else stood in shock as Miss Estonia did a flirtatious little thing of her own in front of the former Russian champion, and as he turned back around, I was able to hit him with a superkick to the face.  I was so wasted by this point that Markov didn’t go down and he tried one last rally, which I thwarted, hitting him with another superkick, which set him up directly for my world-famous finisher, the spike piledriver.

Miss Estonia got Markov's attention using her beauty pageant charms

Miss Estonia got Markov’s attention using her beauty pageant charms

The referee counted the academic pinfall as Natalia watched on from the ring apron in disbelief, urging her man to kick out.  He did not, however.  The match was over after 15-minutes of slobberknocking action.  It was one of the greatest victories of my professional life, as I was able to stand with my fellow countrymen and put down the Russian Locomotive in our nation’s capital.

My spike piledriver put away Ivan Markov in this heated COLD WAR match

My spike piledriver put away Ivan Markov in this heated COLD WAR match

Finland’s top newspaper Helsingin Sanomat ran a full front page advert about the Snacky Slam event on the day of the event and I was called by the country’s number one rock radio station, Radio Rock, for a quick pre-match interview one hour before showtime.

Victorious after a truly hard-fought battle

Victorious after a truly hard-fought battle

Finland has a good reason to be proud this weekend, as the jubilation of the live audience on hand was tremendous when Ivan Markov was put down for the 1-2-3. Thanks to Snacky and to everyone that came out to see history in the making yesterday in Helsinki at Snacky Slam!

All photos by Marko Simonen (www.markosimonen.com)

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