Posts Tagged ‘fast food’

On Tuesday, July 29 in Helsinki, FCF Wrestling is going to see their biggest media coverage to date in the past 11 years that the game has been a domestic staple in the country of Finland.  This stems from the fact that the biggest, #1-selling magazine in all the land, 7 Päivää (aka Seiska), is acting as the main media sponsor for an event entitled SNACKY SLAM! in the Pukinmäki suburb of Helsinki on that very day.  SNACKY SLAM! is named after Helsinki’s famous hamburger fast food classic restaurant Snacky, who is hosting the event.  For this special occasion, Snacky will be launching a new burger based on an idea that I pitched to them, called the Slamburger at SNACKY SLAM!.  This will be a huge showcase for the entire sport here in Finland, and everyone is stoked about the media hype leading into the event.  Best of all, especially for the public and the fans, this event will be 100% free admission, a matinee starting at 13:00 in the afternoon!

SNACKY SLAM! six-man tag

At SNACKY SLAM!, it’s six-man warfare as StarBuck’s team meets Ricky Vendetta’s team

At SNACKY SLAM!, I finally get my mitts on “Finnish Doberman” Ricky Vendetta, who has been shooting his mouth off over the past few months, making a big deal about the tainted win over Yours Truly that FCF champion Heimo Ukonselkä literally handed to him in a six-man match back at FCF’s Jatkosota 2014 in April.  Ricky refuses to understand and come to grips with the fact that he never earned that victory the hard way.  He didn’t actually beat me fair and square in the middle of the ring, based on his own talents or offensive attack.  No, Ricky Vendetta was handed a win.

Jatkosota 2014 main event

Jatkosota 2014 earlier this year and a tainted victory over me (photo: Marko Simonen)

Now, at SNACKY SLAM! on July 29, Ricky Vendetta gets the chance to make good – when his team with Stark Adder and the monsterous executioner-like Petrov meets my team with Sly Sebastian and Mikko Maestro – and show that he can put this old dog down the hard way.  That is, if he can.  Now me, I seriously doubt that.  I have serious doubts over whether a 20-something upstart in the wrestling business with three years of experience under his belt can honestly best a 3-time European champion and time-tested, 20-year veteran of the ring wars in “The Rebel” StarBuck.  Many before Young Mr. Vendetta have tried, and oh so many of them have failed miserably.

Ricky Vendetta vs StarBuck

Ricky Vendetta has tested my ire before in Jan. 2013, and he ended up not so well (photo: Marko Simonen)

I might not be a young lad anymore, not able to play spider man with the other big dreamers on the school grounds or in the sandbox, but that has no bearing on anything.  I have ring smarts.  I have experience.  And no amount of money or personal investment is going to get you what experience can only bring.  That is my greatest asset, and the sooner that Ricky Vendetta understands that, the more tolerable — or perhaps intolerable — the hiding that I dish out to him will be this coming Tuesday, July 29 in Helsinki in our six-man tag team match showdown.

Below you can check out several media pieces and profile videos that entertainment juggernaut 7 Päivää has done on both myself and the SNACKY SLAM! event in general.  Make plans to be there in person on July 29, right in the middle of vacation season here in Finland, at 13:00 in the afternoon, as I lay an ass-whopping on Ricky Vendetta and his team like has rarely been seen:

http://www.seiska.fi/Viihdeuutiset/Johnny-McMetal-ja-StarBuck-ovat-oman-aikansa-gladiaattoreita-tallaista-on-ammattipaini-video/1047308

http://www.seiska.fi/Viihdeuutiset/Ammattipainija-StarBuckilla-on-edessaan-todellinen-koitos-Katso-vakuutuksesi-kuntoon-silla-noutaja-saapuu/1047223

http://www.seiska.fi/NEWS-lahetys/NEWS-perjantai-Mestaruusottelusta-tulossa-vuosisadan-turpakarajat/1048533

http://www.seiska.fi/Viihdeuutiset/Johnny-McMetal-kisaa-mestaruudesta-hurjassa-lajissa-Luvassa-kunnon-turpiin-mattamista-video/1047710

http://www.seiska.fi/Viihdeuutiset/Showpainin-Suomen-mestaruusottelijat-ottivat-mittaa-toisistaan-kadenvaannossa-video/1048437

http://www.seiska.fi/Viihdeuutiset/Marianne-Kallio-Tama-on-valttikorttini-kun-kohtaan-Tia-Kiurun-kehassa/1047293

Also at SNACKY SLAM! on July 29, it’s going to be media favorite Johnny McMetal vs. FCF champion “Wildman” Heimo Ukonselkä for the title, the massive 125kg King Kong Karhula vs. flying punker Vili Luupää and a celebrity girls’ bikini match between Finnish Viidakon Tähtöset TV hit series star Marianne Kallio and Miss XL Finland Johanna Salminen, following Viidakon Tähtöset co-star and hated rival Tia Kiuru pulling out of the event.

Marianne Kallio and Tia Kiuru

Marianne Kallio (left) will have to find a new opponent, as Tia Kiuru (right) has pulled out.

7 Päivää magazine has announced Miss XL Finland Johanna Salminen as Tia Kiuru’s replacement against Marianne Kallio in the celebrity bikini match at SNACKY SLAM!, where the objective will be for one competitor to strip her opponent of all her clothes, ripping them off her body, until her adversary is left standing in only her bikini!

Johanna Salminen Miss XL Finland

Johanna Salminen Miss XL Finland

Well, here it is, folks!  I was asked to play the lead in Subway‘s newest commercial for their American Steakhouse Melt sub.  I also did the voiceover speak for the commercial.

Take a look: