Without further ado, here is the official theatrical trailer for Spandex Sapiens, the movie about Yours Truly that comes out in Finnkino theaters nationwide on June 17 in Finland.
Also, keep your eyes peeled for a huge feature article on the movie and myself, appearing soon in Finland’s largest newspaper, Helsingin Sanomat, and there will also be a separate video segment with me on their website.
Be sure to go out and see the movie on the premiere week! Let’s make history in the Nordics, and from here, spread it to the rest of the world!
For over a century now, professional wrestling has given spectators and fans worldwide a platform to voice their opinions and choose their idols and heroes, and conversely, choose their villains and anti-heroes.
For anyone who has ever seen the A&E channel’s “The Unreal Story of Pro Wrestling” piece from the late-’90s, there is a quote in there about the psychological impact of pro wrestling as a catharsis for the average person in modern society, offering a conduit to purge the soul through the role of the “face” or “heel” counterparts in any given wrestling match. Pro wrestling is the last bastion of living folklore in a world that has arguably forgotten their heritage and roots, especially in the day and age of multi-culturalism, TV and film.
In pro wrestling, the viewer or fan is compelled to pick a side, living vicariously through the protagonist as they battle against the antagonist, and thereby being able to dispel any possible antipathies or angst that they might have. It’s one of the last, great open forums of unconstrained and uncensored debate in today’s increasingly politically correct environment, where free speech is being drawn back and slowly, but surely, eradicated.
World culture and the media slant these days pushes the message hard that we must all be tolerant and “just get along”, as has been seen in Europe of late with the mass influx of refugees flooding the continent, along with current hot topics, such as transgender toilets in public schools and other institutions. This same pitch has also crossed moral and ethical boundaries, with the gay rights and LGBT movement aggressively moving forward through Hollywood and TV culture at large, where formerly-noted minority groups are now not only given a regular platform, but they are pushed into the faces of everyone at large, whether you agree with it or not. And you, regardless of your personal beliefs, are supposed to simply stand there and “accept” it. Be tolerant. Silently agree. But don’t you dare publicly disagree! Because if you do, the masses, who have largely been programmed by the media at large to think a certain way, will blackball you and ruin your good name! Yeah, this is the paranoia and spirit of the day that we have arrived at. People are damn afraid to speak anything that isn’t in line with the generally-accepted thought of the day.
Jessica Love, seen here, representing the transgender community at Helsinki Pride
The great thing about pro wrestling is that we all don’t have to simply “just get along”. No, if you have a differing opinion than the person sitting next to you, you are free to voice that opinion loud and proud. You can boo and cheer who you want! You can freely choose a side to stand on. Whatever resonates with your values system, you can pick that side and roll with it. Let the warring parties fight it out in the ring and back whichever one tickles your fancy!
The “babyface”, or “face”, has traditionally been the good guy in pro wrestling jargon. They represent the noble, honorable virtues and morals held to be true. The “heels”, on the other hand, represent the bad guys. They have traditionally been the unscrupulous bastards, who are only in business for themselves and they use the collective sentiment of the given day as their personal roll of toilet paper.
Now, all this brings me to a promo that I held yesterday at Helsinki’s Pressa Club during FCF Wrestling’s Wrestling Show Live! event, after transgender fan favorite Jessica Love and Finnish wrestling veteran Stark Adder proved victorious in a tag team outing. I took the mic and proceeded to cut a verbal message to Jessica Love, who is my counterpart in just about every conceivable way, and also happens to be my main antagonist in this summer’s theater release of Spandex Sapiens, the movie about my life and pro wrestling travels around the globe. While Spandex Sapiens is not a wrestling movie in and of itself, showcasing a much wider array of topics and meat on the bone besides pro wrestling, it does serve as a very open platform over the polarizing discussion of modern, overt liberalism vs. old school, conservative values.
This morning, when I opened my Facebook, I saw a private message for a certain wrestling fan asking why I opted to go heel yesterday. I simply sat back, amused at this estimation.
Since when did standing for traditional values become a negative thing and something to be frowned upon? Since when did being a real man, in the most traditional sense – standing for solid, unmoving principles – become a heelish thing to do? Maybe I’m the one missing the boat here, but I just don’t get it.
I have not changed my views, opinions or message during my entire pro wrestling and media career. Since 1999, when I first began getting media exposure to a larger degree, I have kept the same image and approach, regardless of what has been “in”, “hip” or “pop” at any given period in time. I have stemmed the tide, stayed the course, and been consistent. I have not wavered or changed my tune because of deriding opinions or attacks on my character. Even back in 2006, when my Stoner Kings band released our Fuck The World album, I/we got blasted by certain medias and people, who completely shat all over our piece of business, but even then, I stood my ground and stood tall. Nothing has changed. In my estimation, this the measure of a man. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Stand for what you believe in, regardless of who is against you or whatever is the popular consent of the day.
In the last Rambo movie from 2008, Sly Stallone’s John Rambo character summed up the message of the film in one, single, iconic line: “Die for nothing, or live for something.”
Me personally, I have done just that. I have stood for traditional, masculine values in an ever-changing world and vastly convoluted age. I have offered the iconic view of masculine forte, for better or worse. It’s been the kind of prototype that kids could look up to, as I have heard several parents attest to. I believe the man is the head of the household, the one that leads the dance with the girl, the one that takes charge and carries his own responsibility and stands like a rock for what he believes in. Take it or leave it! I make no apology.
So therefore, I come back to my promo regarding Jessica Love and the theater debut of my story, Spandex Sapiens, on June 17 this summer across Finland and Sweden. Yeah, right up here in this neck of the woods, where PC thought reigns supreme and the gospel of tolerance of all kinds is espoused over and beyond reason. And I find it peculiar, that my movie comes out just before Pride Week in Finland, where the exact demographic that “heels” on my kind of beliefs and traditional values will have it’s annual day in the sun.
Jessica Love represents everything that Pride Week is about. Jessica is the perfect posterboy/girl/person for the LGBT community and exudes the liberal sentiment of our current state of society, especially here in the Nordics. In pro wrestling, especially for fans in the southern, capital region of Finland, along with a plethora of Swedes in cities like Gothenburg, Malmö and Stockholm, all find Jessica Love to be a sympathetic “babyface” to rally behind. Indeed, you would be hard-pressed to find a more complete opposite of myself than Jessica Love.
So this summer, take a stand. Choose a side! If you believe in the man being the head of the house, and still believe that a man must be king in his own home, leading the charge and taking responsibility, standing where others fall, then I welcome you to my side. Stand with me and represent classic, traditional masculinity! If the Russel Crowe movie The Gladiator rang bell with you, then my call goes out to you!
If you vehemently oppose my train of thought or simply cannot stomach traditional societal roles, then I welcome you to join the opposing side with Jessica Love, where the colors of the rainbow shine brightly.
If being a real man in the classic, iconic, traditional sense makes StarBuck a heel, then so be it. I have no misgivings and no regrets.
Get your tickets to Spandex Sapiens around the country at Finnkino theates HERE. It all starts on June 17!!!
On Friday, June 17, the day that Spandex Sapiens hits Finnkino movie theaters across Finland, there will also be a huge pro wrestling one day festival outdoors in downtown Helsinki in front of Tennispalatsi Finnkino theater. Matches will start at 12:00 noon, with a series of three matches at the top of every hour, until 20:00 when the main event and apropo theme of the Spandex Sapiens movie takes place, as I wrestle against Jessica Love in the last slot of this eight-hour-plus action extravaganza! Plus, remember folks, outdoors it’ll be free to the public!
StarBuck vs. Jessica Love — LIVE on June 17 outdoors in Helsinki at Tennispalatsi @ 20:00
Last night in Helsinki we almost had a tragedy take place. FCF Wrestling held it’s 10th anniversary of Finland’s equivalent of Wrestlemania, Talvisota X (Winter War 10). With 500 frantic fans showing up to our mega-show, we had nine matches slated on the card, with the FCF title bout between champion Valentine and challenger King Kong Karhula in the main event.
However, earlier yesterday, we got word that my opponent for the evening, Chaos of Denmark, had been delayed in Copenhagen. His SAS flight had left for Helsinki and had been turned back after take-off due to a fuel shortage. SAS rerouted him through Prague later in the day, only to make it to Helsinki airport for 22:30!
Now just me personally, talking not only for myself but for the fans on hand, and in light of the significance of my imprint on the Finnish pro wrestling scene in general, as the pioneer of the sport in our country, for my match to have been left off the card of this 10th anniversary show would have been an all-time low.
Back in 2006, when the first, inaugural Winter War took place in Vantaa, Finland, I was the main event against Bernard Vandamme of Belgium for the Eurostars European championship. At that event, I won the European title for the first time in my storied career, putting Finnish pro wrestling and FCF as a company on the continental wrestling industry map.
The night I took the European title off of Bernard Vandamme in 2006
Now, 10 years later, the boys that were in the opening match of the very first Winter War in 2006 found themselves at the top of the card, in the advertised main event of Winter War / Talvisota X this year, a decade later. Valentine and King Kong Karhula had one hell of a match last night, which stands to be applauded on all levels, and I was amazed at the public reaction to the newly-turned Karhula as a babyface. It seems that the Finnish fans really vouched for him and have taken him as a fan favorite fore-runner. Pitted against one of the greatest heels ever – if not THE greatest heel ever – out of the Nordics, Valentine, both challenger and champion tore the house down with a multi-faceted, highly intricate and masterful match. Valentine retained his strap, but Karhula won over the entire audience with a moral victory.
About half-way through Valentine’s match with Karhula, Chaos arrived at the Töölö Sports Hall, rushed to the venue via taxi to make it for our advertised match. He had changed into his wrestling gear during the ride to town, and he was primed and ready to go 15 minutes before our match went on. Talk about a near-miss!
My Eye of the Tiger theme music began to play and I wondered if Chaos and I could follow the stellar main event match set by Valentine and Karhula. Still, as a 22-year veteran, I knew I could be certain of what I could produce. I was also dead-certain of what my opponent could produce. We had an issue to attend to, a rivalry that crossed national boundaries. I wasn’t expecting a high-flying match or a technical showcase. No, what I was expecting was a WAR. And a war I got!
Chaos lambasted me from behind with a steel chair from the blindside as I made my ring entrance, beating me six shades of senseless before I even knew what was going on! The man tore into me, literally like a pit bull, unrelenting and vicious in his assault. I found myself literally fighting for my life in there. There was no surcease, no slowing down, as Chaos just kept the pressure and heat on me.
Yet, I wasn’t succumbing. I wasn’t laying down or staying down. This was Winter War 10, dammit! Winter War, my personal brainchild and concept, which has since been branded and recognized as the most important pro wrestling event annually in the country of Finland!
Chaos blasts me with a mean uppercut! (photo: Timo Muilu)
My adrenaline started kicking in. I struggled hard to clear my head of the cobwebs of Chaos’ vicious assault. I got in one punch… then another… and another. I rallied hard, fighting back with the intestinal fortitude of a dozen Finnish war veterans that fought hard to retain Finland’s independence in 1940. I wasn’t just fighting for my professional wrestling heritage in this country, I was fighting for every person at the Töölö Sports Hall that rallied with me. Every punch and blow that I could land was delivered with the force and emotional investment of the people that believed in me and my personal contribution to pro wrestling in Finland since 2003. All of a sudden, my fight became larger than life itself in that moment.
A brief rally that didn’t last too long, but did the damage intended! (photo: Timo Muilu)
I finished the first Winter War with my head held high back in 2006, and I wasn’t willing to leave the ring last night with anything less than that same feeling and raw emotion. I finally nailed Chaos in the face with a boot as he charged me in the corner. With the Dane stung, I blasted him with a second rope clothesline that would have done former WWF world champion Bret “Hitman” Hart proud.
After a spirited last-ditch, desperation comeback, I got caught out on the outside of the ring by Chaos, as he ran my kidneys hard into the ring apron. Rolling me back into the ring, Chaos hit his trademark moonsault and damn near crushed my legs on the landing. It would be hard to kick out, with my thighs knotted up, but kick out I did!
Chaos hits a mean moonsault on my fallen corpus (photo: Xeniya Balsara)
Chaos picked me up for a side back breaker and then ascended the ropes for another huge moonsault, which he hit perfectly across my chest cavity, knocking the wind out of me. He went for the cover, but just barely, I managed to kick out once again.
At this point, Chaos seemed to be scrambling for ideas, so he went after the steel chair that he used before the start of the match to beat me senseless. Bringing the chair to the ring, he prepared to blast me with it, but I hit a superkick into the chair, sending the steel into Chaos’ face and knocking him senseless for a change.
Now was my time. It was now or never. I hoisted Chaos for my trademark spike piledriver and dropped him with the very maneuver that has put away competition all over the world during my wrestling travels in 20 countries worldwide. But… he kicked out!!!
My piledriver has a match-ending odds on favorite rate of about 98% (photo: Xeniya Balsara)
I was stunned. Hardly ever had anyone… anyone at all… kicked out of my spike piledriver. In Japan, “The Japanese Buzzsaw” Tajiri managed to kick out of my piledriver once, and once only. On that night, Tajiri became the FCF champion back in 2010. But such are so scarce occasions, that they only happen once in a blue moon, or perhaps, as with most, only once in a lifetime.
I blasted Chaos with yet another spike piledriver and that was finally enough to put away the tough bastard at Winter War 10, as the audience counted with every slap of the referee’s hand against the mat, as Chaos’ shoulders were pinned for the 1-2-3. And my goodness, the sound of the pop that the live audience emitted at that point could have been registered on the Richter Scale!
What could have been a disastrous night on many levels turned into one of the most satisfying and memorable matches of my 22+ year pro wrestling career. Thanks to everyone who was on hand, and for those who weren’t, there is a DVD of this event in the works, which will be out in the coming months for sale!
The FCF Wrestling veteran crew that has taken part in every single Talvisota / Winter War to 2006 -2016: (left to right) King Kong Karhula, StarBuck, Valentine, Stark Adder (photo: Satu Tapaturma)
A heated rivalry has been brewing for over a half a year now between myself and former Danish wrestling champion Chaos. This issue stems back to last summer, back on August 22 in Randers, Denmark, where I was scheduled and booked to face Chaos in the first-ever cage match of my 20+ year pro wrestling career. This was a landmark for me personally, something that I was highly looking forward to, until the rug got pulled out from underneath me.
In a baffling turn of events, Chaos lobbied with his DPW (Danish Pro Wrestling) organization to get his scheduled match on August 22 with me changed to him vs. Ken Anderson of TNA Wrestling. It seemed that Chaos opted to let his ego do the talking when the situation presented itself, and thus, as a “consolation prize”, DPW sent me into the Anderson-Chaos match as a special guest referee. This was a true slap in the face to me both personally and professionally.
So in a case like this, what do you think I opted to do? You guessed it: I took matters into my own hands and righted a small iota of personal wrongs with some vigilante justice. I refused to count the pinfall when Chaos had Anderson down and out after a moonsault and then I proceeded to superkick Chaos’ teeth down his throat, enabling an easy win for the former Mr. Kennedy of WWE.
This didn’t sit well with Chaos, and I certainly can understand that. But then again, he drew first blood in all of this by pulling out of our scheduled match. He should have been well-prepared for what happened, after his organization put me in there as a referee for his match. He could have lobbied to have me out of the picture completely, and just hope that I didn’t take offence and attempt to do something about it. But no. Chaos walked willingly right into the lion’s den and got what was coming to him.
So now, it’s become personal. Chaos has a stick up his ass about the way that I handled my business, and I am less than happy about how he handled his business initially with me. So what does he do? Chaos sets up a couple of crowbars to take me out and make a hit, performing his dirty work for him. Norwegian tag team champions Bjorn Sem and Hannibal dished out a very painful beatdown on my person back in January following a wrestling show at Helsinki’s Pressa Nightclub, as you can see in the footage below.
So once Chaos had sent me his receipt for what happened last summer in Denmark via the Norwegians, I thought to organize a little receipt of my own to the SOB a few weeks back when he worked a card in Sweden. Take a look…
So here we are, and eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. I issued a challenge for Chaos to meet me, man to man, at FCF Wrestling’s Talvisota X (Winter War 10) event in Helsinki, Finland on March 19 at the Töölö Sports Hall to settle this thing between us. No more messengers, no more “telescope” receipts. This time, it’ll be just he and I, inside of the squared circle, and the fists will do the talking that night. I’ll even be a good sport and let Chaos present any stipulation he wants for our match, should he have the brains for it. All I know is that on March 19, it’s going to be two time-tested, ornery veterans against one another, with a collective amount of over 40 years of experience between us, tearing apart the ring that night.
May the best man walk out of Winter War with his hand held high.
Just a week back I wrestled in Russia, which was a huge landmark opportunity for me. In doing so, I finally capped off 20 countries in pro wrestling.
Looking back on my career, I have been blessed to see the world, visit four continents as a wrestler, become a name and drawing card in several promotions and stake out a legacy in the annals of wrestledom as we know it.
Russia presented a unique opportunity for me to work in the biggest country in the world. The Independent Wrestling Federation (IWF) booked me to appear in Moscow on February 27 against a wrestler of theirs named “Big Sexy Papa” Ruslan.
Ruslan put up a good fight, but he was nowhere in the physical condition that I was, and I ended up trouncing him pretty damn good by the time the dust settled. The Russian fans took to me like a fish in water, which made for a welcome reception to the former Soviet superpower.
Judging from the public response to our match, it seems like there is a rematch brewing in the booking sheets for me to return to Russia and once again tangle another round with Ruslan, who now has a much better picture of what he is up against. Heck, I even took his girlfriend and carried her out of the venue over my shoulder, like a true caveman, adding insult to injury. So man up, Ruslan! What are you going to do differently the next time that you and I meet in Moscow?
Yet for me, conquering Russia was a great way to celebrate my 20th country in the game!
I make no bones about the fact that I am an old school representative of the pro wrestling trade. My style, psychology and etiquette are all derivative of the old school and I highly espouse the way things used to be versus the way things are nowadays. But instead of sounding like a grumpy old stalwart, let me digress and let’s take a look at the supporting arguments et al of the old school against the new school.
In many ways, I do enjoy the colorful variety of modern day pro wrestling, especially when it comes to WWE, NXT and New Japan. Lucha Underground has a very compelling product, which cannot simply be seen as just pro wrestling. Lucha Underground is really more of an action carneval show, and that, in their case, is a good thing. It’s different, and it’s almost grindhouse in a way. I could see Quentin Tarantino or even Robert Rodriguez scripting Lucha Underground.
As the industry leader, WWE does a lot of things right, and arguably a lot of things wrong. But they can get away with it, because their brand overall is stronger than the action or stories in and of themselves. I can really appreciate the strength of the NXT product nowadays, and Triple H is doing a lot of apparent good with that product. A plethora of capable hands are coming up down in Florida with NXT and their system just seems to work the way that it is orchestrated nowadays.
As atheletes, today’s top new stars are leagues beyond what the old school wrestlers used to be. Guys and gals are in crazy crossfit shape and can go like nobody’s business when the bell rings. Whereas old school grapplers like Dick Murdoch, Terry Funk and Lou Thesz could go out there for 60-90 minutes a night and put on a compelling grappling clinic, their pacing was worlds apart from the hyper-athletes of today such as Seth Rollins and Dolph Ziggler, who do more in a lesser amount of time. And what they do is damn impressive from an athletic standpoint on any level.
So wrestlers today are much better at the dynamic body movement part of the game, performing all kinds of leaps, spots and such that the old guard would never have dreamt of doing. The talents today are more akin to living incarnations of superheroes in their athletic performance than Ric Flair or Hulk Hogan could ever have dreamed of in the 1980s. Their conditioning is second to none, and they can burn at a faster pace, like a spinter versus a marathon runner. The old school were the marathon men, they shifted diesel gears. The guys today shift turbo-charged gears. Both approaches are commendable, but there is more…
Hulk Hogan didn’t have to do nearly as much as Seth Rollins for an equal response.
If one looks simply at the probable outlook for the career longevity of many of today’s newer stars, I’d wager to say that should they keep taking the crazy, high risks that they do – only to elicit a pop from the audience – then their longevity will be short-lived indeed. Let me expand on that one, single argument here. I stand to argue that had these younger modern talents understood the nature of capturing human emotion in their audience, they would not need to go out on a proverbial limb to risk their own health doing spots that will typecast them and be damn hard to top, follow or live up to the next time around. If you condition your audience to expect and want more and more from you, you will find yourself up against the wall before long. And your health will pay the price. And for what, just a pop? I understand utilizing a certain style to ”get over” with the audience, and then working an altered style to ”stay over”, but most of that is all geared toward instant gratification at a high personal risk and cost. And belive me when I tell you, that instant gratification is short-lived and frivulous, demanding more of the same, demanding to up the ante, the next time around.
Everyone remembers Jake The Snake, right?
Another thing that really strikes me as funny and befuddling at the same time has been the inability of many of the newer ”stars” to ”stick” with their audience or have the audience ”buy” them as lead players over the past several years. As a point of comparison, in the ’80s, once a guy like Jake ”The Snake” Roberts made his imprint on the national stage, the people ”bought” him as a lead star. Whether he won or lost, it did not matter. He was ”made” – a recognized, household name – and he was perceived as being a big deal. People to this day still fondly remember the old guard and remember them as larger-than-life stars. I would argue that the characters of bygone years, like ”Hacksaw” Jim Duggan, The Iron Sheik, Dusty Rhodes and Bruiser Brody were much more organic and at the same time they came across as more ”authentic” and thereby unique, as compared to the vast majority of talent that parades across our screens these days. The same could be argued for classic era wrestlers like Gorgeous George, Buddy Rogers and Lou Thesz. Perhaps much of this aforementioned ailment has a lot to do with today’s apparent oversaturation of media visibility, which waters down everything and everyone, due to the inane amount of shows on tap these days, in addition to the limitless internet. Perhaps it simply becomes an insurmountable challenge to rise above the programming deluge, which tends to make the viewer more prone to instant gratification and lends greatly to a near-complete lack of attention span. Would that lend credence to why nothing seems to ”stick”? It stands to reason and it does present a valid question.
The force-fed lines of script that today’s talent are given to spout and embrace create a situation where I can see many having grave difficulties in finding their own ”voice”. Back in the day, when Dusty Rhodes talked, shucked and jived about hard times, you bought into every word. When Ric Flair ranted about breaking Ricky Morton’s nose, people were genuinely infuriated. When Roddy Piper verbally lambasted Jimmy Snuka and cracked a coconut over his head, it went to live on in infamy. That kind of emotion is really missing these days, and it’s rather apparent in the lack of connection between the newer ”stars” of today and their audience.
Now, I understand that everything evolves. But in the same breath, you will always know the tree by the fruit that it bears. If something isn’t connecting, there has got to be a glitch, be it in presentation, character or credibility. Once again, back in the day, people were legitimately scared of Abdullah the Butcher, The Original Sheik and ”The Ugandan Giant” Kamala. Fans in Japan scattered out of the way like ants when Stan Hansen, Bruiser Brody or Tiger Jeet Singh made their ring entrances. I don’t see anyone scattering these days. I don’t see anyone who is legitimately afraid of a said wrestler, with the possible exception of Brock Lesnar.
Now I’ve hit the provebial nail on the head, so let’s talk Lesnar as a case example of a moment. Lesnar was ”made” in pro wrestling back in 2002-2003. He went on to become a WWE and UFC champion, adding to the legitimacy of his tough guy aura. When Brock came back to WWE a few years back, he was as believable as they came. People bought into him being the real deal. When Lesnar broke The Undertaker’s undefeated streak at Wrestlemania 30, he was the only guy with the solid arguments to be ”the guy” to be in that spot. People perceived Brock Lesnar to be a badass, to be the real deal, and therefore he was projected as a star. With Brock, it doesn’t feel like he is playing any character. He is his own man, himself. What you see is what you get. So with the real life aura of a beast and monster, everything about Brock Lesnar, from his movement to his offense to his body language, is rock solid and believable. With that thought, I would wager to argue that Brock Lesnar is the last ”real” superstar from the newer stock (taking into consideration his second run with WWE) who has the aura of must-see stardom, across-the-board legitimacy and match believability. With Lesnar, you don’t get any bullshit, smoke or mirrors. (Keeping my fingers crossed that they don’t finally pull that valuable rug out from under Lesnar against the gimmick-heavy, mystical Bray Wyatt at Wrestlemania this year.)
Brock Lesnar
Pro wrestling gets a lot of flack and criticism for not being a legitimate competitive sport. With the reality TV era upon us, every single televison product out there is scripted, and pro wrestling is no exception. With programs vying for the same viewership demographic in prime time (or any other time) against other entertaining shows, viewers must be manipulated and hooked, so as not to change the channel. The problem that pro wrestling encounters nowadays, in my assessment, is that with the talent being labeled as ”sports entertainers” versus professional athletes (which, trust me, pro wrestlers truly are), the ”boys” (and girls) in the business are stripped of the requirement to come across as legit, and the matches are no longer reminiscent of an actual fight. The talent simply become characters, and as characters, why should they make their product credible and believable in a ”real fight” sense when they can simply aim to be entertaining and get reactions? I see this as a huge problem in the modern era, and it lends understanding to why so many holds are applied so loosely and sloppily that no viewer out there can buy into what they are seeing. Snug that shit up, people! Have some pride in your craft!
Lou Thesz sure didn’t teach John Cena his STF…
Me personally, I enjoy much of what I see nowadays, as I can appreciate the athletic endeavor of the talent themselves. It’s damn entertaining! No bones about it. But a lot of it is also forced, unnatural in flow and lacks believability. To paraphrase something former WWF champion Bret ”Hitman” Hart once said about match psychology, ”If you can’t see it happening in a bar fight, it shouldn’t happen inside of a wrestling match”. I don’t know about the rest of y’all, but I still want to believe. When I compare some of the old school matches to what I see today, I see a lot more in the way of emotional investment and credibility. I see talent that got more mileage out of doing less, thereby saving themselves and prolonging their career longevity. I see masters of the craft that wrestled more than 300 dates a year on average, at whose matches people both young and old alike hollered and screamed like their lives depended on it. I look at matches from the bygone past that are so believable that anyone would have a problem finding fault in them, bouts like Ric Flair dropping the NWA championship to Ron Garvin in a 1987, where the real fight vibe was all over the place.
So in the end, with all of the aforementioned assessments and arguments, I would have to still tip my hat to the old school approach and philosophy to pro wrestling in favor of the modern product. I just believe it was better for business back then. I believe when the talents were looked at and treated as athletes versus entertainers, they put out a better product and showing. I believe the personas of times past were more organic and believable, and also more charismatic in a natural way. I believe that at the end of the day, people still want to come out and see a fight, not just a show. And on top of that, pro wrestling used to be a trade where c0untless men and women that didn’t wrestle for WWE and chances were you never heard of them made a living, fed their families and did this as a full-time job. Sounds like a better world to me all around back then…
Call me old-fashioned, I wouldn’t have it any other way!
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This past weekend on Saturday, January 16 in Helsinki, FCF Wrestling started the grappling year off with an event called Wrestling Show Live, at which I experienced something I usually don’t run into almost anywhere. I got mugged.
I had one hell of a dandy match, teaming with Finnish ring veteran Stark Adder, to do battle with current FCF champion, Valentine, and Ricky Vendetta. I have to say that all four of us were on fire that night, and the capacity audience on hand at Pressa Nightclub responded accordingly. In the end, Adder eeked out a surprise win over Vendetta, leading into what I am sure will be a long-awaited singles match between the two of them, formerly known as the team of The Constrictors, at the biggest annual event in Finnish pro wrestling on March 19 in Helsinki, Talvisota X.
Adder pins Vendetta
Yours Truly controls Valentine
After our tag team win, we let the dust settle and the sweat cool down, taking care of business post-match, hitting the showers, getting dressed and heading back on home.
Well, this is when the proverbial shit hit the fan.
FCF’s documenting film crew was shooting random extra material for a possible DVD release down the road as I exited the building, heading to my car, with my wrestling bag in tow. I certainly didn’t expect to see Norway’s tag team champions, the behemoth-like Gods of War – Bjorn Sem and Hannibal – waiting, as it were, for me on the other side of the door. The video below speaks for itself and shows what happened in the ensuing moments…
As you can hear on the video, Bjorn Sem says “Greetings from Chaos. This was a receipt for last summer in Denmark.”
For anyone who doesn’t know, I had a cage match scheduled against my old foe and former Danish wrestling champion Chaos in Denmark last August 22. At the last minute, Chaos got our scheduled match changed to him against former WWE/TNA wrestler Ken Anderson. To add salt to that wound for me, which was already a slap in the face, Danish Pro Wrestling put me into the match as special guest referee. Well, I let Chaos and DPW know exactly what I felt about being shut out of competing in that cage match, as I lambasted Chaos with a superkick, following which Ken Anderson easily pinned the man.
I got relegated to officiating, as Chaos tried his luck against TNA’s Ken Anderson.
I admit, my temper got the best of me, but no one messes with my professional pride. Chaos should have honored his booking commitment and wrestled me inside of that steel cage, but instead, he wanted to test himself against someone that he had never wrestled against before in Ken Anderson. I just refused to let it slide.
Well, I guess I should have known better. I should have guessed that my actions my come back to bite me in the ass down the line. And down the line was the night of January 16 in Helsinki. Chaos sent out an obvious hit on my person, and the chosen hit men were the Norwegian tag team champions.
Chaos is obviously looking for a fight. Mean, nasty, ornery. That’s me, too.
Now, however, Chaos has got to know that I won’t let sleeping dogs lie. We’ve fought each other tooth and nail over the years, and I have to admit that Chaos is one of the nastiest, hardest hitting badasses I have ever come across. The man is a former Danish national amateur wrestling standout, in addition to being one of the hardest hitters in all of pro wrestling. Yet, he should know who he double-crossed in Denmark this past summer to set off this series of events.
Chaos needs to be looking over his shoulder now, because the next one is on me.
One week from today, it’ll be time to lace up the proverbial boots and step into the pro wrestling ring for the first match of 2016. Just this past week, on January 7, I passed my 22-year mark since my first live wresting match as an active competitor. Now, here in 2016, this old dog is still alive and kicking.
Hell, I’m sure there are some that would just wish an old warhorse like me would die out and fade away, but that just ain’t happening. Not yet. I will be the one to dictate when and where, barring serious injury or an Act of God.
There are days that I wonder how long I will want to keep up actively wrestling. There is a limit to all things, a bump card that keeps filling up, and every year, I just have to find a way to wrestle smarter and navigate better. It’s a challenge, but one that I embrace. After all, at heart, I am a fighter.
At 42-years of age, I look at many contemporaries in our business and size myself up against them. Old friends like Chris Jericho are a mere couple years older than me, and still in good stride, able to compete at the highest level. My old wrestling coach Lance Storm of Storm Wrestling Academy in Calgary, Canada, gets in the ring daily with his wrestling students and has actual matches against them to help them improve, and Lance is three years my senior. Heck, when I lost the SMASH championship title to Dave “Fit” Finlay in 2011 in Tokyo, the legendary Irishman was just over 50 at that point, and he ran me ragged!
Dave Finlay was an absolute beast inside of that ring past the age of 50!
Alas, here in 2016, I sit at my desktop computer, writing this blog, and I ponder my own situation. I’ve been at this grappling game for a good number of years now, putting in the miles, flying here and there, up against the best competition around the globe. I look at a guy like Keiji Muto in Japan, a man whom I look up to greatly for his legacy and longevity in our business, and see how beat up his knees are past the age of 50 now. I think of guys like Triple H, in his mid-40s now, wrestling a very limited schedule, with only a few shots a year at most. And then there is The Undertaker, who continues to hang on, also grappling a mere few times a year, as everyone asks when his last Wrestlemania moment will be.
As a veteran, it’s hard to hang it up, because at the heart of it all, we are all fans of this game. Look at Terry Funk, the legendary old NWA World champion and hardcore wrestling legend. He could never exorcise the wrestler out of his system, and the number of his announced “retirements” has been baffling. That’s because Terry Funk loves pro wrestling. Just like the other veterans out there, who refuse to die out and fade away.
I recall Bret “Hitman” Hart saying in his autobiography, that he never wanted anyone to see him wrestle as an old fart, past his due date. I can relate to that, as it becomes a matter of personal pride in your own legacy and accomplishments. You don’t want to be in a place where you are just a shell of what you used to be at your prime. As long as you can produce top-notch matches and carry your personal piece of business with your head held high, I say go. Don’t let anyone stop you.
And so it is in 2016, that 22 years into the pro wrestling game, I look at the date of January 16 at the Pressa Club in Helsinki. I look at the match I will have that night and the tag team partner that I am paired with that evening: Stark Adder.
Adder is another veteran, a year older than Yours Truly, but equally a warhorse of high fortitude and morale that keeps the flame alive. We’ve fought each other numerous times over the past decade, and we have nothing but the highest mutual respect for one another.
Now, on January 16, Adder and I will join forces to do battle with Adder’s former tag team partner and ex-protege, Ricky Vendetta, and his partner, FCF champion, Valentine. This is a huge tag match on paper, a monumental bout that will see Adder and Vendetta lock horns for the first time since Vendetta turned on his former mentor about a half-year ago.
I warmly welcome you all out to Helsinki on January 16 to see what very well may be deemed as “The Veteran’s League”, as we clash with the kind of opposition that will surely translate into a classic match at the Pressa Club in Helsinki, with a showtime start of 18:00 and doors opening at 17:30, tickets 20e/person.
After over six years since the initial shooting began for the trek that would become my story on the silver screen, Spandex Sapiens finally had it’s grand world premiere in Helsinki this past Thursday! And to be honest, what better place to hold the premiere than here in Finland, as the movie was funded with Finnish money and tells a tale about the pioneer of Finnish pro wrestling? Rather apropos. I would wager to say!
Today, I heard the good news that Spandex Sapiens had won the “Audience Favorite Award” at this year’s Night Visions film festival in Helsinki, which ends today. People genuinely seemed to be touched, moved or otherwise stirred by the movie, as I was witness to myself this past Thursday night, as I shook hands with movie goers after the premiere.
Having now seen the movie myself on the big screen, I must say that it truly is a powerful piece of cinema. Several people have told me the same thing, “It was much better than I initially expected”, which, after so long of a time in the making and having so much money put into it, shouldn’t be too much of a shock.
FCF afterparty wrestling show at Gloria, Helsinki, Finland.
I was especially proud to stand at the end of the movie, on stage with the producers, my family and a host of FCF wrestlers, for an open Q&A about the film itself. Viewers presented a plethora of questions, and one that that was directed toward my father, Taimo, specifically had an impact on me. Or moreso, my father’s answer to the question presented stirred me, as he said: “Michael said at one point that he wanted to become a role model for the young boys and teenagers of today. Not some ambiguous figure who wants to be half male and half female, but a true embodiment of solid masculinity.”
That statement, in and of itself, also spoke volumes of the movie itself, and the impact of my personality and character in the film. I was truly humbled to receive such high adulation from my own Dad in front of a host of strangers, acquaintances and friends alike. It felt like I had done something right in my life, especially the following day afterward. when I ran into an online article about a 100% increase in gender role confusion amongst today’s children.
All that said, I have seen a clear change in the social consciousness of our modern age, where the lines of clear gender roles are being stealthily erased. It is no longer accepted to call a spade a spade, or to have clear, dauntless black and white principles. The world has become a melting pot of grays, or perhaps thought otherwise, a mixture of all of the colors of the rainbow, as it were. Solid absolutes are being done away with, as people look to justify everything about their lives through relativism. The only problem is that when absolute truth is done away with, the foundation of one’s society ultimately crumbles. So there you have it, my brief moment of social commentary in the midst of this milestone of celebration.
FCF afterparty wrestling show at Gloria, Helsinki, Finland.
On the night of the movie premiere, following the Q&A, we had an afterparty wrestling show at Gloria Cultural Arena in Helsinki, where I faced my counterpart from the Spandex Sapiens film, transsexual wrestler Jessica Love. It was a damn good match, too, which was building to a classic, when the Musta Aukko (Black Hole) contingent of King Kong Karhula, “Executioner” Petrov, their manager Mr. Tapaturma and female cohort Julia Kyy all interfered. As the heels beat down Jessica and I, Karhula took the mic directly thereafter and spouted something about being sick and tired of seeing my face in the spotlight, and in addition, having no regard for Jessica Love, who Karhula boasted he had beaten to a pulp on countless occasions. Karhula blasted that now was his time, and that didn’t seem to sit all too well with his teammates.
FCF afterparty wrestling show at Gloria, Helsinki, Finland.
FCF afterparty wrestling show at Gloria, Helsinki, Finland.
FCF afterparty wrestling show at Gloria, Helsinki, Finland.
FCF afterparty wrestling show at Gloria, Helsinki, Finland.
FCF afterparty wrestling show at Gloria, Helsinki, Finland.
FCF afterparty wrestling show at Gloria, Helsinki, Finland.
Jessica and I took advantage of the confusion amongst our foes’ ranks and laced into them with a counter assault, sending them out of the ring. I stepped up to the proverbial plate and challenged Petrov and Karhula to a tag team match right then and there against Jessica and myself, to which they eagerly accepted. What followed was a donnybrook that saw Jessica Love pin King Kong Karhula with a double-arm DDT after a timely superkick assist from Yours Truly. We put aside personal, philosophical differences to fight a common enemy and we came out on the winning end, which brings to mind something I have long held to be true: “I don’t have to like you to be able to do business with you.”
FCF afterparty wrestling show at Gloria, Helsinki, Finland.
FCF afterparty wrestling show at Gloria, Helsinki, Finland.
FCF afterparty wrestling show at Gloria, Helsinki, Finland.
FCF afterparty wrestling show at Gloria, Helsinki, Finland.
FCF afterparty wrestling show at Gloria, Helsinki, Finland.
Spandex Sapiens’ world premiere was just the beginning. From here, the film is sure to hit various international film festival stages and then get an official theater distribution release in Finland, come the spring of 2016!
What a ride it’s been! Over the past six years, since the summer of 2009 to be exact, film producer Oskari Pastila (whose last film was the acclaimed Knucklebonehead in 2013) has been busy shooting my story, which he entitled Spandex Sapiens.
Originally carrying the working title Babyface, Oskari went for more of a Marvel Comics approach and thus dubbed the work Spandex Sapiens. We’ve been filming as far away as Japan on a couple of occasions, in addition to Germany, Sweden, The Bahamas, USA and even footage from Romania, in addition to Finland. This thing has been shot on three different continents, for Pete’s sake!
My movie rival, transsexual wrestler Jessica Love, looks on at the filmed segments between takes with writer ilja Rautsi and director Oskari Pastila.
Now, after much delay and much wait, the official world premiere of the movie is at hand on Thursday, November 5 in Helsinki, as part of the Night Visions Film Festival for 2015, slated for a showtime of 17:45 at Maxim theater (located at Kluuvikatu 1, Helsinki).
It’s been quite a journey! One that features a tale of love lost and love found, falling out with one girlfriend only for me to find the girl that would become my wife. It features a scintillating theme of Yours Truly, as the prototypical throwback to the conservative retro kind of caveman from yesterday vs. the all-accepting, liberal values of my antagonist counterpart in the movie, Europe’s only transsexual wrestler, Jessica Love. It also features the price of the path less traveled by the lone wolf, who makes a way where there is no way, to create a legacy.
Sound engineer Svante Colerus puts the final touches on Spandex Sapiens.
In short, Spandex Sapiens has a lot of meat on the bone, and something on tap that will touch every viewer in some way. This movie is not politically correct, nor does it pander to the prevalent social conscience of our modern day. It’s a film that will divide viewers straight down the middle. You’ll either love it, or you’ll hate it, simply due to the vivid clash of values that are presented in the film. I am sure the critics will have a field day with this one!
Mark the date down in your calendars, folks. November 5, 2015 – the world premiere of Spandex Sapiens!
On the same night, as an afterparty for the movie, FCF Wrestling and Night Visions will feature the Spandex Sapiens Afterparty & Wrestling Show at Cultural Arena Gloria in downtown Helsinki, with a showtime of 21:00. I will be grappling against Jessica Love on that show, in honor of the main theme in the movie. Also on the card, a plethora of other top matches, and fans who bought a movie ticket to the film premiere the same night get 5 Euros off of the ticket price at the afterparty wrestling show.