This coming weekend in the city of Gothenburg, Sweden, one of the most important matches in Scandinavian wrestling today will be waged between four men. The Swedish contingent of their most popular wrestler, Conny Mejsel, and his hulking partner, the young but very talented Harley Rage (what a name!), will take on Finland’s veteran duo of myself and the lightning-fast 125kg King Kong Karhula.
Now, let’s make no mistake about it: I am no friend of Karhula, nor do I want to mislead anyone into believing so. Yet, for the sake of making a heartfelt statement on Swedish soil this coming Saturday night, February 1, I wanted to bring the former FCF champion, because I can vouche for this man’s talent. I don’t have to like Karhula to do business with him, and serious business it will be in Gothenburg in just a matter of days, when he and I lay waste to the hometown favorite and his big buddy.
Conny Mesjel is someone that I have an outstanding issue with, since he first challenged me for my BWA Catchweight title back in June of last year in Helsinki. I’ve heard that he’s wanted to take me on specifically due to the fact that I am considered to be the ”Lord of Northern European Wrestling”, as they say in Japan.
I can accept that. As a matter of fact, I find that flattering to a large degree. That said, I will not refrain from beating a mudhole into Conny Mejsel and anyone else that he decides to bring with him to the dance, because he is literally asking for it!
Laying out Mesjel with a chair shot in Gothenburg, September 2013
Conny Mejsel wants to be an old school tribute, but he should realize that I am the real thing.
Conny Mejsel is going back to school this coming Saturday in Gothenburg, and his younger friend Harley Rage is going to serve hard time alongside him. Mark my words.
Well, today is the last day of the year. A fitting time to look back on the tumultuous year that has been 2013.
Personally speaking, it’s been the hardest year on many fronts in my life to date. Sure, I’ve had both good and bad this year, but the dark side casts a major shadow on what has been 2013. Some economic seers were predicting a shitstorm for this past year at the tail end of 2012, and lo and behold, that shitstorm came with sinister fury. Financially, 2013 was a horrendous year. The sooner forgotten, the better. I really have no idea what is going to stem the tide and turn the course of the economy and job market, but something needs to happen — big time. Maybe it’s just the foreboding clouds of impending doom that forecast the doing away with of cash money, moving society towards a total digital transaction empire. Maybe it’s the speedy dissolvement of the middle class, ushering in a greater disparity between the those who have and those who have not. Maybe it’s the last, great rush of the greedy and self-centered, the liars and the thieves, to capitalize on the few remaining remnants of everyone else’s piece of pie. Whatever it is, it’s come to not only reach, but exceed the limit. Stop already!
But yeah, there has been good in this past year, also. I started 2013 off with a surprise engagement to my sweetheart, Diana, at a wrestling show in Lohja, Finland on January 4. After my match against Ricky Vendetta, I took the house mic and proposed in center ring to my girl, leading to our marriage on March 13 in Espoo, Finland. Diana told me that both numbers 3 and 13 have always had a lucky significance for her during her life, and it was her wish that we tie the knot on 13.3.2013. It took me almost 40 years to reach marriage, but dammit, I finally found my diamond in the rough and took the head-first plunge!
My parents pose with my brand spanking new wife and I
In March, I had the honor of representing my homeland of Canada in the Four Continents Cup of 2013 in Brugge, Belgium. The match was a four-man random tag elimination bout, with wrestlers also representing Spain (Europe), Japan (Asia) and Ecuador (South America). In the end, it boiled down to myself and Makoto Morimitsu of Japan, with my foe escaping my finishing piledriver attempt, capturing me in a rolling side cradle hold for the pinfall and win. It was a hard-fought match that was eight years in the making, as I had originally faced Makoto in Italy back in 2005, where I left him laying the ring after my spike piledriver.
StarBuck piledrives Makoto in the Four Continents Cup
I got to the critical age of 40 this past year, back on April 24. My wife organized a surprise birthday party for me at my old friend and ex-Stoner Kings drummer Janne Kontoniemi’s Bar Chaplin in downtown Helsinki. It was nice to see so many people turn up for the occasion. That said, it really feels like at 40, my life may as well be half over. I’ve been able to “live the dream”, as the boys call it in pro wrestling when one is able to enjoy a good modicum of success, rock all over the world with several of the bands I’ve fronted in, create characters with SONY music sensation Hevisaurus that have turned into a smash-hit all across Finland with kids far and wide, and a whole hoopla of other stuff.
Yet, somehow at the milestone age of 40, all of this feels somewhat … empty. It’s strange. When you think, that in the end, all you have ahead of you is an endless eternity that you cannot cancel out on, even if you’d have hoped, it all just becomes so very strange. The words from my band Overnight Sensation’s song Fool Like You resound in my head: “If I could, I’d return to the womb … way the hell back to nothing, before I even set to bloom.” Maybe it’s the hardships over the past year, but it makes one somber and philosophical.
In the Spring of 2013, I had the honor of facing WNC (Wrestling New Classic) champion, Osamu Nishimura, as part of a spectacular tag team main event in Tokyo, where I was paired up with my Synapse teammates AKIRA and Syuri against TAJIRI, Nishimura and WNC women’s champion Lin Byron. My good friend, heart surgeon Dr. Hiroaki Terasaki, claimed that this was the best match that I had wrestled in Japan in his opinion. I must say, that working against Nishimura in that match left me hoping I would have gotten a singles title match against the man over the course of this year. However, the financial hardships that are troubling the west are also now being felt harshly in the east, and I didn’t get the chance to grapple solely against Nishimura, as he dropped the title to TAJIRI this past summer.
A show of respect between WNC Champ Nishimura and myself after our match.
On May 11 in Espoo, Finland, I captured the BWA (British Wrestling Alliance) Catchweight title from Valentine, gaining a measure of revenge on my adversary for attacking my wife a couple of months earlier at an event in Helsinki. My victory was bittersweet, as I had promised not only to take the title, but to send Valentine out on a stretcher for good measure. I didn’t get to collect on the stretcher ride portion of it all, but that receipt is still coming, be assured of that.
2013 was a hard year also in the way of physical injuries, particularly the herniated disc between my C6-C7 vertebrae, which was diagnosed in mid-August. I had been experiencing numbing pain in my upper left shoulderblade/trapezius/arm, and I am talking 24/7 pain that just wouldn’t relent. I finally could take no more, and I went to one of Finland’s most highly-regarded sports physicians, Dr. Tuomo Karila, who had been the doctor for the Finnish wrestling team in the last Olympics. That is when I understood the severity of my condition. Had I continued to wrestle, especially in a highly-anticipated match against 190kg Cannonball Grizzly at the end of the summer, I would have risked paralysis. I tried to snake my way out of a match in Gothenburg, Sweden, against local hero Conny Mejsel, but the President of GBG Wrestling, Lady Delores, demanded that I wrestle. I was given a substitute, as I declined the hard challenge that Mejsel would surely present, and in lieu, I faced masked man Aguila Roja. I trounced Roja, as I was irate that GBG wouldn’t let me sit the match out, due to my aggrevated injury, but at the end of it all, Mejsel appeared to save the day. I beat Mejsel bloody with a folding chair, paying him back for conniving against me with the Bättre Folk contingent in FCF Wrestling back in the summer of 2013 in Helsinki at one event. When I am fully healed, I will be more than glad to face Conny Mejsel, be it in Sweden or in Finland or any place for that matter. All that said, I have still not fully recovered from my herniated disc, as of December 31 today, as I get pins and needles from time to time in my left index finger from the damage done to my disc. Deadlifts, chin-ups and back squats are off limits for another three to four months, as this thing has to get properly healed up.
I got some good news from Oskari Pastila, the director of my Spandex Sapiens documentary movie. Originally, the movie was slated to be out in January 2014, but lo and behold, the flick just kept getting more and more funding, which meant that more and more people were getting involved. This of course meant that the release date of the film had to be pushed back to either Spring 2014 or Autumn 2014, since the summer vacation months do not warrant putting anything notable out. So, for all of you who have been asking and wondering, now you know the lowdown on the situation.
Spandex Sapiens promotional artwork by Janne Yliruusi
In September, I returned to action in England for the first time in thirteen years at an event in Gloucester, entitled Wrestling Rampage. I faced local hero Matt Jarrett aka The English Bulldog, dropping him with my trademark spike piledriver to get the duke in under 10-minutes of combat, as Jarrett suffered a neck injury during the course of our bout. I was even asked to go to BBC studios, promoting our match-up prior to the event, which I thought was very cool, in addition to making local newspaper headlines.
The Citizen newspaper runs a big piece on my UK match
September also signalled the release of my hard rock band Overnight Sensation‘s Life’s a Bitch album, which was released solely as a digital record in todays Internet market. It’s sad to say, but by and in large, it seems that the day and age of the CD as a salable item is in its twilight period. So much of everyone’s business has become virtual, that it’s downright scary. Still, I am damn proud of the end result with Life’s a Bitch, which is a very catchy and solid rock album.
I got to play director on my southern rock act Crossfyre‘s Devil’s Daughter music video, which I also did the storyboard and wrote the story for. My wife even got a sponsorship for the girls in the video through mineral make-up company, Gaya Cosmetics. The end result was stellar, as you can witness from the official video.
All in all, 2013 doesn’t sound too bad from the highlights mentioned above, but in many other ways, especially financially, this year is not one that I would like to revisit, outside of a few peak moments. Only God knows what 2014 holds in store, as right now, it’s just a black hole with a huge question mark at the end of it.
Nonetheless, thanks to all my fans and supporters for keeping the faith alive and flame burning over the past year! Let’s keep our thumbs up for 2014…
This past weekend, our Finnish FCF Wrestling contingent descended on Gothenburg, Sweden and kicked some major posterior in front of a sold-out 600-strong, screaming audience of grappling fans. Putting personal differences aside for one night, for the sake of representing the top promotion in Northern Europe today, our faction – comprised of FCF champion King Kong Karhula, “Wildman” Heimo Ukonselkä, Valentine, Jessica Love and myself – made an indelible imprint on the Swedish that will not be soon forgotten. Indeed, we marked new territory and took names in the process!
Me laying down the smack on GBG boss Lady Delores (photo by Trygve Finkelsen)
For me personally, it was a sweet occasion on the night of September 7, as I was able to exact a measure of personal revenge on GBG’s Conny Mejsel, for the way that he and Valentine left me laying in Helsinki back on June 8 this year. Truth be told, it was not easy to stand in the same ring alongside Valentine, representing FCF Wrestling, after the way that he has attacked both me and my wife over this past year. At least we were able to have separate dressing rooms, to keep any possible altercation from happening between our parties backstage. That said, I can be professional and do business for the sake of the business itself, but as soon as we have our rematch, I will make sure that Valentine is stretchered out of the building.
Aguila Roja is in dire straits at the hands of StarBuck
I was initially scheduled to face Conny Mejsel, but truth be told, since I am still nursing my C6-C7 vertebrae back to health and full function, I was not willing to risk my health at the hands of such a ruthless bastard like Mejsel. I know that the man will give me a ferocious fight, so I told GBG Wrestlings president Lady Delores, that I would not wrestle Conny Mejsel on September 7 in Gothenburg, and my replacement would be FCF champion King Kong Karhula. My words fell on deaf ears, as Delores demanded that I face masked man Aguila Roja, and that I would not be getting out of Gothenburg without a fight. Well, they wanted blood so I gave them blood. Not only did I put down Roja and beat him unmercilessly, I also floored Conny Mejsel, who felt like he had a bone to pick with me over my decision of not facing him.
Conny Mejsel tastes the wrath of The Rebel!
Bad Buddha and Scandinavian Shiva (Masters of the Mystical Arts) assist Mesjel after I left him plastered with my spike piledriver
Right now, Conny Mejsel is locally on the level of a “Stone Cold” Steve Austin in terms of popularity in Gothenburg. His hometown cheers him on like the second coming of The Beatles. I was told after I left Mejsel laid out in the center of the ring following a rambunctious spike piledriver, that I would not be safe walking the streets of the city any longer. That, folks, is what we call HEAT!
Personally, as soon as my neck injury is rehabilitated and I am back in full fighting form, I will be more than glad to give Conny Mejsel any kind of match that he wants!
It’s official now, folks: Finland has invaded Sweden! At least in the world of professional wrestling, and that said, it’s been a long time coming. You see, for years on end, Finland was under Swedish rule, and the Finns despise the lingering Big Brother mentality of the Swedes. To this day, the hottest rivalry in Nordic Ice Hockey is between Finland and Sweden, and Finland vs. Russia is a close second, by a hair.
Last weekend in Malmö, Sweden, a literal gang of Finnish wrestlers crashed the SWS Wrestling card on Saturday, August 31. At the start of the Swedish event, the Finnish grapplers – FCF champion King Kong Karhula, Stark Adder, Valentine, Ricky Vendetta, Aurora Flame, Vili Luupää and Johnny McMetal – steamrolled into the ring out of the audience and kicked the living daylights out of the Swedish pair that was squaring off. This led to the immediate restructuring of the night’s card, as SWS officials deemed that if Finland came to Malmö to fight, then a fight they would receive!
Now, on Saturday, September 7, five of the best wrestlers out of Finland today – myself, Heimo Ukonselkä, Jessica Love, Valentine and King Kong Karhula – all descend on Gothenburg, Sweden, to take on the best that GBG Wrestling has to offer. The war cry has been sent out, and now there is not turning back!
Personally, I don’t know what this will mean for me, as my herniated C6-C7 vertebrae is far from being healed, but I plan on showing up for sure. I know that GBG wanted me to wrestle Conny Mejsel at this event in a rematch from FCF Wrestling’s DOMination 9 card back in Helsinki on June 8 this year. Personally speaking, I still owe Conny Mejsel a receipt big time, for the way that he assaulted me back in June, alongside Valentine, following our match.
Bättre Folk. For a long time, the Swedes living in Finland have held themselves to be a step above the Finnish populace, probably stemming from the fact that Finland once used to be under Swedish rule. That “big brother” mentality still shines through and is prevalent these days, and a LOT of people in Finland despise the snobbish attitude of the Swedish “Better People” (= Bättre Folk).
So it was this past Saturday night, at an event in downtown Helsinki, entitled DOMination 9: New Blood Rising, that this age-old pest termed Bättre Folk showed up. We had them in the audience, I had one as an opponent, and when all was said and done, there were three of them in the ring.
Miss D give me a kiss for good luck before the match
When I started initially coaching Finnish wrestlers in 2003, I did my best to bring them up under certain, traditional etiquette and codes of honor that are time-tested in our business. Some of those kids from over the years have fallen out of the game, simply due to the fact that they either did not have the heart that this business requires, or because of serious physical injury in matches on a few occasions. To be honest, I counted awhile back that over half of the kids that have debuted in Finnish professional wrestling since 2013 have called it quits. It really is an astounding number.
To the best of my ability, I did my utmost to ween those with the best character, to take up leading positions in Finnish pro wrestling on the promotional end, as after all, our business does require group effort. Sometimes, my evaluation of certain peoples’ character is correct, but at times, I misjudge who and what they truly are. I hate to say it, but such an individual from this latter category would be my Eurosport co-commentator, Robert Holmström.
Mejsel with a chinlock as the referee checks in
Robert was one of those people that had business savvy when he entered the game. He worked for a debt collection agency, and he had a certain way about him, that you could say was “business-like.” Robert even entered FCF’s wrestling school in 2005, but his physical prowess and athletic ability were not up to par, so he ended up becoming a referee. And for many years, Robert Holmström was the best referee that FCF Wrestling had. He even got so “over” with the fans in his officiating role, that it carried over to public support on his behalf, when he challenged former FCF General Manager Wilma Schlizewski in 2011 for her leadership title. Holmström became the new General Manager for FCF Wrestling in December 2011, when his representative wrestler (Finnhammer Halme) defeated Wilma’s representative wrestler (Angel de Tormentá).
Fall-away clothesline lays out Mejsel
It was during Robert’s time as General Manager, that his position of power corrupted him as a human being. He became Machiavellian in his thinking and actions, clearly proving, that some folks just aren’t cut out to handle authority. Holmström would abuse his position as General Manager, going so far in his personal xenophobia, as to personally single out Mexican-Finnish talent El Excentrico and make his life hell. FCF Wrestling’s board of directors couldn’t idly sit by and just let Holmström implode, so he was ousted from his General Manager spot in favor of Kristian Kurki, after the Talvisota VII event back in February of this year. Since then, Holmström has been a sour grape, with a chip on his shoulder and probably a bad case of acid reflux, considering his constant negativity.
All this said, I even got Holmström his position as my co-commentator of This Week in WWE and WWE Vintage Collection on Monday nights in Finland, back in February 2009. The Eurosport office asked me if I had someone in mind, who could work in the announcing booth with me, as an announcing team. They needed to be knowledgeable and have good, on-air chemistry with me. I had two or three names in mind, but I went to bat for Robert in the end, and he got the job.
Wounds of war, bleeding from the chin
Lo and behold, four years later, Robert Holmström has forgotten about the hand that fed him in 2009. Even moreso, he has forgotten who brought him up in the business and trained him back in 2005. In short, Robert Holmström has chosen to shit where he lives. How indicative of his musical taste in punk rock.
When I faced Sweden’s Conny Mejsel this past Saturday night in Helsinki in defense of my BWA Catchweight title, all was fair and game until former BWA champion Valentine blindsided me, prompting the referee to call for a disqualification. Valentine had previously assaulted me wife Diana on two separate occasions, and when she saw from ringside that Valentine ambushed me, she entered the ring and tried to pry him off. That is when Robert entered and grabbed my girl, choking and manhandling her in the process. The trio of Mejsel, Valentine and Holmström left me and my wife laying in the ring, proclaiming themselves to be “Bättre Folk”, as Holmström spat out to everyone in attendance, that he was sick and tired of playing second-fiddle to Yours Truly, and that the final nail in the coffin for him was when I brought Diana into the business.
a bunch of ignorant assholes – Bättre Folk
Holmström already challenged me earlier in May this year at FCF’s Jatkosota 2013 event in Espoo, where I won the BWA championship from Valentine, for a match against my wife. I accepted, knowing that my wife could wipe the mat with Robert, since she has a background in Jiu Jitsu and Kyokushin Karate. Robert didn’t get his wish, as FCF General Manager Kristian Kurki denied the match taking place at DOMination 9 this past weekend, and this caused even more bitterness for Holmström. I guess that is what prompted him to follow in Valentine’s footsteps and attack my wife also, proving that he also, is less than a man and a coward at that.
No need for further explanation…
It will be a challenge for me to sit beside Robert Holmström on Monday nights in the Eurosport announcing booth from this day forward. Only due to professionalism and for the sake of my job will I retain my composure and refrain from taking out my anger outside of the wrestling ring. However, once the next wrestling event rolls around, with Holmström and his compatriots on the other side of the ring, all bets are off. And then, even the cops won’t have jurisdiction, because what happens in wrestling stays in wrestling … and Robert and his Bättre Folk should know that.
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