This upcoming weekend on Saturday, November 15 in downtown Helsinki, FCF Wrestling celebrates my 20 years in the pro wrestling industry with The Roast of StarBuck as part of FCF’s Marraskuun Mättö wrestling show at Hotel Presidentti.
This particular evening will see me get grilled like never before, as I put my proverbial ass on the firing line to get verbally lambasted. I am sure the satire will be thick and I will have to take a few uncomfortable jabs, as I am not expecting to get off easy here. Acting as roastmaster will be Robert Holmström, my Eurosport TV co-commentator for WWE wrestling on Monday nights here in Finland. Robert has known me since 2006, and having worked with him at Eurosport for the past 5,5 years, I doubt there would be a more fitting person to host the entire roast than him. He’s seen the good, the bad and the ugly, as it comes to one “Canadian Rebel” StarBuck.
Amongst those roasting me will be Renne Korppila from Radio NRJ, media personality Wilma Schlizewski, my outspoken uncle Lasse, and several others whom I won’t mention, so as to not ruin the surprises in store!
Be sure to come on out on Saturday, November 15 in Helsinki if you happen to be in the capital region of Finland at the time. This will be one for the ages, a landmark for my 20 years, for my imprint on the pro wrestling industry on the whole.
I will also have a slew of new t-shirts available for sale at the event, drawn and designed by Yours Truly, to celebrate this 20 year milestone.
This weekend on Saturday night, January 11, in Helsinki, it’s Finland vs. Sweden in another chapter of an age-old rivarly between these nations.
Hot on the heels of Finland’s Junior Ice Hockey team winning the World Championships against Sweden a few scant days ago, the feelings on both sides of the fence are hot and heavy. Only this time, the battle will be waged in a professional wrestling ring, and not an ice hockey arena.
It seems fitting, that to start off the New Year, the Bättre Folk contingent in FCF Wrestling has set out to claim this year as their own. After my Eurosport co-commentator Robert Holmström issued the challenge for me to round up three partners for myself, right on a live WWE Vintage wrestling broadcast in late December 2013, I knew there was no backing down. Holmström, Valentine, Conny Mejsel and Steinbolt all want to write a new chapter in the annals of Northern European wrestling, by establishing their group as the alpha males to begin the second decade of Finnish professional wrestling. But me, I just can’t have that.
Whether people love me or hate me, the one thing that nobody can take away is the fact that I am the pioneer and founding father of professional wrestling in the country of Finland. This is my heritage, my imprint for all times, for the history books. I’ll be damned if I let some arrogant pack of Swedish prissies and pricks take over here in Finland, as long as I live here and call FCF Wrestling my homebase!
So I thought quick and snappy, right on the air at Eurosport, of who I could ask to be my partners at FCF’s Saturday Wrestling Slam 2 this coming Saturday night. In reality, my choices were self-explanatory.
I thought of all of the wrestlers that Bättre Folk has sabotaged since their inception during the summer of last year. Valentine, Steinbolt and Holmström all assaulted FCF General Manager Kristian Kurki in September. What they didn’t realize is, that Valentine’s backstabber backbreaker to Kurki in that very attack actually set his injured spine back into place, making him able to compete again. Now that is bad news for Bättre Folk!
It was Holmström, Valentine and team valet Barbie that struck out against both Sly Sebastian and I in our singles match back in October. I think Sly has some bones to pick, as that match was to be his testing ground to see whether he could procure a BWA title shot against me. The no-contest ruling following Bättre Folk’s attack in that bout certainly didn’t do Sly’s aspirations any favors. Oh, and I certainly haven’t forgotten about Barbie striking my wife in the melee, either…
Then I thought of my young and ambitious protege, Mikko Maestro, whom Valentine gave a serious concussion to in September during a match between the two. Maestro’s father even emailed me and asked that I beat the living daylights out of Valentine for causing that harm to his son. So really, there you have it: my team, all of whom gladly accepted the invitation to lay the thrashing of a lifetime on Bättre Folk this coming January 11 in Helsinki at Nightclub Tähti.
The bemusing fact is that Robert Holmström, in all of his Machiavellian grandeur and high imagination, feels that he is fit to climb into the ring as an active competitor with his team on January 11. I personally find that both absurd and hilarious! Robert might be a former referee, dating back many years, but he was never schooled to be a wrestler. Refereeing and wrestling are worlds apart, like comparing tomatoes to beef jerky. I really believe that Robert Holmström’s participation in this coming four-on-four Survivor Series-style elimination tag team match at FCF’s Saturday Wrestling Slam 2 will be his team’s downfall.
The bottom line is, this coming Saturday night in Helsinki, this Swedish quartet known as Bättre Folk is in for a world of trouble. They are the catalysts of the woe that they have themselves caused, and now they will all pay the piper … one by one … down they fall … and their fall will be great.
Last night at FCF Wrestling’s Lokakuun Luuvitonen event in Vantaa, Finland, I wrestled a young man named Sly Sebastian, giving him arguably his finest match to date. The kid has a lot of heart, and a definitive get-to-it grasp on things. I applaud him for his efforts, and last night, Sly Sebastian put his best foot forward.
All that said, however, Sly still could not defeat Yours Truly. Sure, he put up a gallant effort, but in the end, it was the outside interference of the contingent known as Bättre Folk, that sabotaged our match. The referee called off the contest, as Valentine assaulted both Sly and I. For me, this was the second time that my old rival Valentine messed with my bout in the last few months.
Beyond that, however, Valentine has put his hands on my wife over the course of this year four times already. This last episode last night really exceeded even the lowest of standards.
After calling their newest Bättre Folk cohort, Barbie, to the ring, Valentine and his manager Robert Holmström held my wife, Miss D, as Barbie smacked her across the face. Following this, Valentine proceeded to mimic a sexual act over my wife’s fallen form. That, in and of itself, was about as low as someone can get, outside of actually raping their victim.
I have asked for one last outing against Valentine to put an end to this lowlife crap, and that is a stretcher match. I promised Valentine a stretcher ride when he initially put his hands on Miss D back in March of this year. Now, I am finally going to make good. One of us will be carried out of the building on our backs, and I am willing to put up my BWA Catchweight title as a winner-takes-all trophy, when that happens.
Bättre Folk. For a long time, the Swedes living in Finland have held themselves to be a step above the Finnish populace, probably stemming from the fact that Finland once used to be under Swedish rule. That “big brother” mentality still shines through and is prevalent these days, and a LOT of people in Finland despise the snobbish attitude of the Swedish “Better People” (= Bättre Folk).
So it was this past Saturday night, at an event in downtown Helsinki, entitled DOMination 9: New Blood Rising, that this age-old pest termed Bättre Folk showed up. We had them in the audience, I had one as an opponent, and when all was said and done, there were three of them in the ring.
Miss D give me a kiss for good luck before the match
When I started initially coaching Finnish wrestlers in 2003, I did my best to bring them up under certain, traditional etiquette and codes of honor that are time-tested in our business. Some of those kids from over the years have fallen out of the game, simply due to the fact that they either did not have the heart that this business requires, or because of serious physical injury in matches on a few occasions. To be honest, I counted awhile back that over half of the kids that have debuted in Finnish professional wrestling since 2013 have called it quits. It really is an astounding number.
To the best of my ability, I did my utmost to ween those with the best character, to take up leading positions in Finnish pro wrestling on the promotional end, as after all, our business does require group effort. Sometimes, my evaluation of certain peoples’ character is correct, but at times, I misjudge who and what they truly are. I hate to say it, but such an individual from this latter category would be my Eurosport co-commentator, Robert Holmström.
Mejsel with a chinlock as the referee checks in
Robert was one of those people that had business savvy when he entered the game. He worked for a debt collection agency, and he had a certain way about him, that you could say was “business-like.” Robert even entered FCF’s wrestling school in 2005, but his physical prowess and athletic ability were not up to par, so he ended up becoming a referee. And for many years, Robert Holmström was the best referee that FCF Wrestling had. He even got so “over” with the fans in his officiating role, that it carried over to public support on his behalf, when he challenged former FCF General Manager Wilma Schlizewski in 2011 for her leadership title. Holmström became the new General Manager for FCF Wrestling in December 2011, when his representative wrestler (Finnhammer Halme) defeated Wilma’s representative wrestler (Angel de Tormentá).
Fall-away clothesline lays out Mejsel
It was during Robert’s time as General Manager, that his position of power corrupted him as a human being. He became Machiavellian in his thinking and actions, clearly proving, that some folks just aren’t cut out to handle authority. Holmström would abuse his position as General Manager, going so far in his personal xenophobia, as to personally single out Mexican-Finnish talent El Excentrico and make his life hell. FCF Wrestling’s board of directors couldn’t idly sit by and just let Holmström implode, so he was ousted from his General Manager spot in favor of Kristian Kurki, after the Talvisota VII event back in February of this year. Since then, Holmström has been a sour grape, with a chip on his shoulder and probably a bad case of acid reflux, considering his constant negativity.
All this said, I even got Holmström his position as my co-commentator of This Week in WWE and WWE Vintage Collection on Monday nights in Finland, back in February 2009. The Eurosport office asked me if I had someone in mind, who could work in the announcing booth with me, as an announcing team. They needed to be knowledgeable and have good, on-air chemistry with me. I had two or three names in mind, but I went to bat for Robert in the end, and he got the job.
Wounds of war, bleeding from the chin
Lo and behold, four years later, Robert Holmström has forgotten about the hand that fed him in 2009. Even moreso, he has forgotten who brought him up in the business and trained him back in 2005. In short, Robert Holmström has chosen to shit where he lives. How indicative of his musical taste in punk rock.
When I faced Sweden’s Conny Mejsel this past Saturday night in Helsinki in defense of my BWA Catchweight title, all was fair and game until former BWA champion Valentine blindsided me, prompting the referee to call for a disqualification. Valentine had previously assaulted me wife Diana on two separate occasions, and when she saw from ringside that Valentine ambushed me, she entered the ring and tried to pry him off. That is when Robert entered and grabbed my girl, choking and manhandling her in the process. The trio of Mejsel, Valentine and Holmström left me and my wife laying in the ring, proclaiming themselves to be “Bättre Folk”, as Holmström spat out to everyone in attendance, that he was sick and tired of playing second-fiddle to Yours Truly, and that the final nail in the coffin for him was when I brought Diana into the business.
a bunch of ignorant assholes – Bättre Folk
Holmström already challenged me earlier in May this year at FCF’s Jatkosota 2013 event in Espoo, where I won the BWA championship from Valentine, for a match against my wife. I accepted, knowing that my wife could wipe the mat with Robert, since she has a background in Jiu Jitsu and Kyokushin Karate. Robert didn’t get his wish, as FCF General Manager Kristian Kurki denied the match taking place at DOMination 9 this past weekend, and this caused even more bitterness for Holmström. I guess that is what prompted him to follow in Valentine’s footsteps and attack my wife also, proving that he also, is less than a man and a coward at that.
No need for further explanation…
It will be a challenge for me to sit beside Robert Holmström on Monday nights in the Eurosport announcing booth from this day forward. Only due to professionalism and for the sake of my job will I retain my composure and refrain from taking out my anger outside of the wrestling ring. However, once the next wrestling event rolls around, with Holmström and his compatriots on the other side of the ring, all bets are off. And then, even the cops won’t have jurisdiction, because what happens in wrestling stays in wrestling … and Robert and his Bättre Folk should know that.
“I promised that I’d take your title…!” – StarBuck
After wrestling last in England back in 2000, I never thought I’d become a champion there, as my experience at the time in the UK was the absolute worst of my pro wrestling career. Back then, I wrestled for an infamous promoter nicknamed “Shaky”, and he was one of the worst con men I have ever run across in this business. In short order, Shaky soured on me, withheld my match pay for days on end (after paying everyone else), treated me like a piece of unwanted trash and made me understand that I was not welcome in his crew any longer. Needless to say, I cut my losses short and left the tour prematurely, refusing to be treated that way.
I lost a good deal of coin on that trip, and for many years thereafter, the foul taste of that UK jaunt still lingers in my memories. I know the saying states that you shouldn’t let one bad apple spoil the whole bunch, but for me, that one bad apple was rotten to the core. Nonetheless, I have met an abundant number of great people in the wrestling industry out of the UK over the past decade in my wrestling travels. Good guys and top hands like Robbie Brookside, James Mason, Chris Curtis, Rob Cage, Rampage Brown, Keith Myatt and Dan Collins have all made a very positive impression on me, and I have thoroughly enjoyed the comraderie we have shared out on the road in this often-times bizarre business.
All that said, as I mentioned in the beginning of this write-up, I never thought I would become a champion for a UK-based promotion. However, last night in Espoo, Finland, exactly that happened. I became the new BWA (British Wrestling Alliance) Catchweight titleholder, defeating a very capable now ex-champion, in the nefarious Valentine.
The new BWA Catchweight Champion (photo by Susanna Honkasalo)
It was a war, to be sure. Valentine was able to compromise my arm after I hit the ringpost, as we brawled on the outside of the ring, and I had serious troubles utilizing my hurt wing after that incident in the match. Even though I managed to hit my trademark spike piledriver, which spelled the end of the match for Valentine, I had considerable trouble hoisting and maintaining my foe in position as I executed the move. Regardless, even without maximum effect, my piledriver was good enough to keep Valentine down for the count.
Valentine tears away at the injured arm
An intense struggle between two top rivals
After 14:29 of a very trying match … VENI, VIDI, VICI !!!
After the underhanded things that Valentine did to my wife Diana (aka Miss D in wrestling circles) over the past two months, I was able to exact at least a certain, somewhat satisfactory measure of revenge on my nemesis. I took his title, but I did not manage to send him out on a stretcher, as I would have hoped for. That I will have to save for a later date, because now, Valentine is disputing the way our match ended, claiming that his foot was under the bottom rope when the FCF referee in charge counted the finishing pinfall, following my closing piledriver. Whether or not that is the case, I do not know, as neither I nor the referee in our match saw it.
I should also mention, that my Eurosport co-host and former FCF General Manager, Robert Holmström, seemingly went off his rocker and lost his mind last night at the event. I have no idea what kind of idiot bug hit Robert, but he had a spastic fit after siding with Valentine regarding his foot being under the ropes in the pinfall of our match, and then proceeded to challenge my wife – whom I left home for this event – to a “match” at the next FCF Wrestling event in Helsinki, slated for June 8, if I understood correctly. Robert should remember that I was the person that got him his job with Eurosport back in 2009, commentating WWE wrestling on Monday nights in Finland, alongside myself. He should also remember that he is not a wrestler, and although my wife Diana is not a wrestler either, I will damn sure teach her in short order how to knock Robert’s head off his shoulders, if he has a stick up his ass concerning my wife. And regardless of what Holmström states, even Ray Charles could see that there was some form of collusion between Robert and Valentine several weeks back, when Valentine assaulted Diana for the second time, as seen in the video below.
It has pissed off Finns for ages that the Swedes who live here act like they are, as they call themselves, “Bättre folk” (better folks), and being that both Holmström and Valentine are Swedish-Finns, they seem to have found a common agenda of some sort. Well, Robert, I’ll be more than happy to show Miss D how to kick your head off, and that way you just might join Valentine on that upcoming stretcher ride that’s still coming…
The main event for FCF Wrestling’s next outing Mäntän Mättö on May 17 in Mänttä-Vilppula, Finland was just announced today. I will be teaming with “Wildman” Heimo Ukonselkä to do battle with the gargantuan combo of Russian monster powerhouse Vladimir Petrov and the enormous human tank, King Kong Karhula.
Karhula, formerly known as Ibo Ten, has seemingly been born-again after he attacked both Ukonselkä and myself in our FCF title match back on April 20 in Helsinki at FCF’s Jatkosota 2012 event. After all was said on done back on April 20, Ukonselkä was stripped of the FCF championship by General Manager, Robert Holmström, after Heimo struck a belligerent Holmström in the maw following the match.
After the way that Robert berated both Ukonselkä and I following our battle at Jatkosota 2012, it is clear the the FCF General Manager wants to see the winds of change and a new order in our domestic professional wrestling scene. Now, Robert Holmström has signed King Kong Karhula and Vadimir Petrov to face Ukonselkä and myself, so as to commandeer a new top dog spot in Finnish professional wrestling.
Karhula and Petrov top the scales at a whopping 260+ kilos of weight, so this match will be a true test for Ukonselkä and myself, as we fight to keep our spot in the main event spotlight at Mäntän Mättö.
Tickets available now through night club and event sponsor www.morgankane.fi in advance.
This past Friday night at FCF Wrestling’s Jatkosota 2012 event in Helsinki I challenged “Wildman” Heimo Ukonselkä for his FCF Championship title. Had I procured the finishing pinfall, which by all accounts SHOULD have gone down following my spike piledriver to Ukonselkä, I would now be a five-time FCF Champion. The fact that I am not the new champ right now boils down to FCF General Manager Robert Holmström, my Eurosport co-commentator, who really should have known better than messing with my match, and to Robert’s “surprise”, King Kong Karhula.
Heimo and I fought a rough-and-tumble, knock-down, drag-out bout, which really deserved a clear-cut winner. Alas, Robert Holmström, with his Machiavellian imagination, spoiled the fun for everybody. Right after my well-timed piledriver, the lights of the Old Student House venue went out and everyone was left in the dark. Then, out of the corner of the room, from a side entrance, out comes the former Ibo Ten, who is now apparently calling himself King Kong Karhula, if the page that he opened on Facebook yesterday is any indication. Karhula proceeded to destroy both Heimo and I, leaving us with bruised ribs after it was all said and done.
I have to hand it to Ukonselkä though. He is often viewed as a very one-dimensional wrestler, being the burly brawler type. My plan of attack was to actually wrestle the man down to the mat and control him there, but Heimo showed surprising counter-wrestling aptitude and managed to stem the tide. It ended up being pretty much back and forth all the way through, with neither of us getting a clear upper hand throughout the match.
With the non-finish and sabotage of our title match, Robert Holmström upheld the FCF Championship, aided in part by the fact that he provoked Heimo into blasting him with a forearm with his egocentric verbal assault following Karhula’s attack on Ukonselkä and myself. Holmström is obviously over-stepping his authority and misusing his power, and I am sure that he has something up his sleeve that nobody can anticipate.
Nonetheless, props to Heimo Ukonselkä for a war well fought, and Robert … I’ll see you at Eurosport next on May 14, and then you will have some explaining to do!
I have to say, every Monday night I am blessed to have the best job that could ever have dreamed of. I work as a wrestling commentator for the television channel Eurosport here in Finland, alongside Robert Holmström, for This Week in WWE and WWE’s blast-from-the-past program, Vintage Collection. I basically get paid for flapping my gums and breathing. Honestly, since it’s professional wrestling and I am a part of the business myself as an active wrestler globally, this job is not only a no-brainer for me, it is also the most laid-back, fun job I have EVER had in my near-39 years.
Our mugs say it all: FUN, FUN, FUN!!!
I was approached back in early February 2009 by the Finnish Eurosport office out of the blue to do commentary for their starting WWE broadcasts. They told me I was the only wrestler in Finland that they were aware of, since I had been in tons of Finnish medias across the board for many years by then, so I kind of landed the job by proxy. Eurosport believed in the tandem commentary duo dynamic, and asked if I knew of someone who could be a credible sidekick/co-commentator. I was able to vouche for Robert at that time, and he took up the offer with open arms. I dare say that Robert and I have since become the preeminent commentary team on Finnish TV for any – and I mean ANY – broadcast sent out on Finnish television today. Our viewer feedback alone supports that statement.
Hey, it's Robert Holmström's favorite WWE Diva, AJ!
So here’s to Eurosport Finland, the BEST workplace a Canadian Rebel could have outside of being in the ring myself! Not too many people can say that they look forward to going to work on Mondays, yet I can honestly say I do.
And believe me when I tell you, this blog text isn’t shameless ass-kissing, it’s the truth — as God Himself is my witness!
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