Posts Tagged ‘Helsinki’

This autumn, the 28th installment of the annual Love & Anarchy film festival will be held in Helsinki, Finland between September 17-27. Love & Anarchy film poster I was asked to be one of the actors in the superhero spoof film trailer/mini-movie for the festival, which you can see in the video below.  My character is like a cross between He-Man and Mad Max, named Muscleman!

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Wow!  How did this come about?!  Like the title reads, Finland beat Russia via Estonia, or should I say, an “assist” from Miss Estonia, in yesterday’s monumental and historic Finland vs. Russia encounter in Helsinki at Snacky Slam between myself and Ivan Markov.

Russia’s premiere wrestler and former 3-time Russian champion Ivan “Locomotive” Markov brought his wife Natalia along as his flagbearer and second at ringside, so the Snacky promoter decided to even the odds by putting Miss Estonia, Kristina Karjalainen, in my corner as both a second at ringside and as the Finnish flagbearer.

Miss Estonia Kristina Karjalainen bears the Finnish flag

Miss Estonia Kristina Karjalainen bears the Finnish flag

Natalia Markov interfered and got involved in our match on several occasions, just as I was about to turn the tide against her husband, Ivan.  Again and again, I was thwarted by Natalia’s timely interference in this No-DQ/No-countout match.  It looked like the odds were stacked against me until Miss Estonia decided to do something.  Well, actually, she did something twice.

Natalia and Ivan Markov

Natalia and Ivan Markov

When Natalia raked my face with her nails as I was beating down a hailstorm of fists on the head of her man, Kristina Karjalainen took to the fore and got right up in Mrs. Markov’s grill.  A hellacious catfight broke loose, with both women looking to tear the hair out of each other’s scalps, before the referee finally separated the women.

Kristina Karjalainen and Natalia Markov got into it too!

Kristina Karjalainen and Natalia Markov got into it too!

After Ivan had jump-started the match by attacking me with his Russian flagpole before the bell, I had to fight for my life in the underdog role, as he poured the heat on heavy.  The match was very physical, with big bombs being thrown to and fro, back and forth, before Miss Estonia finally turned the tide of this new Cold War.

Wailing away on the head of Ivan Markov

Wailing away on the head of Ivan Markov

Getting up on the ring apron, Kristina removed the robe she had on and got Ivan’s attention from the ring apron.  Ivan and everyone else stood in shock as Miss Estonia did a flirtatious little thing of her own in front of the former Russian champion, and as he turned back around, I was able to hit him with a superkick to the face.  I was so wasted by this point that Markov didn’t go down and he tried one last rally, which I thwarted, hitting him with another superkick, which set him up directly for my world-famous finisher, the spike piledriver.

Miss Estonia got Markov's attention using her beauty pageant charms

Miss Estonia got Markov’s attention using her beauty pageant charms

The referee counted the academic pinfall as Natalia watched on from the ring apron in disbelief, urging her man to kick out.  He did not, however.  The match was over after 15-minutes of slobberknocking action.  It was one of the greatest victories of my professional life, as I was able to stand with my fellow countrymen and put down the Russian Locomotive in our nation’s capital.

My spike piledriver put away Ivan Markov in this heated COLD WAR match

My spike piledriver put away Ivan Markov in this heated COLD WAR match

Finland’s top newspaper Helsingin Sanomat ran a full front page advert about the Snacky Slam event on the day of the event and I was called by the country’s number one rock radio station, Radio Rock, for a quick pre-match interview one hour before showtime.

Victorious after a truly hard-fought battle

Victorious after a truly hard-fought battle

Finland has a good reason to be proud this weekend, as the jubilation of the live audience on hand was tremendous when Ivan Markov was put down for the 1-2-3. Thanks to Snacky and to everyone that came out to see history in the making yesterday in Helsinki at Snacky Slam!

All photos by Marko Simonen (www.markosimonen.com)

Finally, after nearly a half year of aggravation and hounding, Yours Truly finally shut the big mouth of one “Finnish Doberman” Ricky Vendetta.  At last night’s Talvisota IX pro wrestling extravaganza in Helsinki, I finally made good on my 6-month long promise to make my nemesis tap out.  And tap out he did!

Talvisota-IX-wrestling-show-17

After 18:20 of a hellacious Submissions-only match, I trapped Vendetta in my Canadian Crossface aka Rebel Lock submission hold, similar to what fans will recall fellow-Canadian and former WCW/WWE champion Chris Benoit using, to make my opponent concede the match.  Chalk up another credo for Canada!  I would argue that our country’s stock has proven itself once again.  Being a Canadian-Finn, I feel confident in transposing these kudos across continental lines in light of this latest victory.  Crossface central!  I think I will take this hold and make it part of my regular repertoire from here on out!

Talvisota-IX-wrestling-show-18

Ricky Vendetta gave it all he had.  Let’s give the young man credit.  He believed he could, but in the end, he just couldn’t.  There’s no shame in that, in putting your best foot forward, yet proving it was not enough.  Ricky Vendetta just learned that there is no substitute for experience.  The veteran advantage.  When StarBuck gets focused, the game it essentially over.  Period.

Talvisota-IX-wrestling-show-11

There was enough pain. blues and agony in this match to last a whole year.  I firmly believe that I made up for nearly a year’s worth of setbacks in this single match alone.  That’s saying a lot!

Talvisota-IX-wrestling-show-21

Next up: Bring it on, whoever is waiting in the wings to make a name at the expense of one “The Rebel” StarBuck!

What a noteworthy event Syyskuun Selkäsauna was for FCF Wrestling this past Saturday in Helsinki!  First and foremost, the MMA barrier in Finland has been breached and busted now with the arrival of Tuomas “Unbeatable” Simola.  For anyone who doesn’t know, this guy has an astounding MMA record of 77-0-1.  Now, he has stormed the gates of FCF Wrestling, issuing an open challenge to anyone in the FCF locker room to take him on.  Take a look at this video from the event to see it all go down:

We had the new Class of 2014 make their debut at the show.  Actually, five out of seven students made their debut, of which only one – Julia Kyy – was able to claim a victory.  Nonetheless, this new group of students showed heart and good fighting spirit, which is a good case to build on, heading into the next FCF event upcoming on November 15 in Helsinki.

Syyskuun Selkäsauna also saw the departures of both Aurora Flame and El Excentrico, who are moving out of Finland to try their luck abroad in the wrestling world.

Yet, amidst all of the hulabaloo (as the people in Finland say), the one thing that left a bitter aftertaste was the underhanded chicanery of Ricky Vendetta, who assaulted me with a monkey wrench during my introduction of the Class of 2014 to the live audience, causing a hairline fracture in my ribs.  I had to get taped up for my match against Vendetta that night, and I am lucky that my physiotherapist friend Tuija Pelkonen from Lihashuoltamo was on hand in the audience.  I had asked her to come, since we were filming some things with my cornerman for the evening, former 7-time Finnish bodybuilding champion, Boogie Mustonen, and I needed Tuija’s expert advice on some of Boogie’s medical operations, since Boogie wants to return to pro wrestling next year.

Ricky Vendetta vs StarBuck FCF Wrestling Ricky Vendetta vs StarBuck FCF Wrestling Ricky Vendetta vs StarBuck FCF Wrestling Ricky Vendetta vs StarBuck FCF Wrestling Ricky Vendetta vs StarBuck FCF Wrestling

Ricky Vendetta really did a damned dirty thing, attacking me in his orchestrated manner.  There was no way that I was backing out of my match against Vendetta.  Not after he has spent all spring and summer this year boasting about pinning me twice in tag team matches, after other opponents have offered him timely assists in making those wins come about over myself.  Syyskuun Selkäsauna was supposed to me the moment of retribution for Ricky Vendetta as far as I was concerned, but he managed to thwart my plans by injuring my ribs before the match ever took place.

In the match, Vendetta assaulted me straight from the opening bell, blindsiding me and laying it on heavy.  I had to literally fight for my life, looking for every opportunity and small opening to make a comeback, and finally, I was able to catch him out at one critical moment of the match, turning the tide for a short spell.  Vendetta however assaulted my ribs with knees and kicks again and again, and soon, I was back down trying to find air.  I managed to trap Vendetta in a crossface submission, which I will now purpose to take as my hold of choice in my quest to make Ricky boy tap out, as I have promised to do.  Heck, I’ll even christen my version of the hold and call it the Canadian Crossface, or the Rebel Lock!  How about that, Ricky Vendetta?  Put that in your pipe and smoke it, as you think of the inevitable hour when StarBuck clamps that Rebel Lock on you and makes you wish you were back in your mother’s arms, nursing like a baby!

Ricky Vendetta vs StarBuck FCF Wrestling Ricky Vendetta vs StarBuck FCF Wrestling Ricky Vendetta vs StarBuck FCF Wrestling Ricky Vendetta vs StarBuck FCF Wrestling Ricky Vendetta vs StarBuck FCF Wrestling

Vendetta’s cornerman and tag partner Stark Adder ran interference at the most crucial moment of the match, just when I had Vendetta tapping out to the crossface!  Luckily, my cornerman, Boogie Mustonen, saw to it that Adder was eliminated from the equasion, but not before Vendetta was able to jab me with a shoulderblock to my damaged ribs and sneak in an illegal leverage pin, which, for the life of me, I cannot understand how the referee did not see.  Even the fans at Hotel Presidentti were howling disparagingly at the official for the crappy call, and rightfully so.  How the ref could have been so ignorant of Vendetta’s feet on the ropes as illegal leverage in making the pinfall is beyond me!

I have to admit that Vendetta is determined, at any cost, to try and make me a stepping stone in his wrestling career.  Yet, after this past weekend, he is going to have hell to pay for choosing this latest route of indiscretion.  I will not stop until I have beaten this young, belligerent bald-headed punk within an inch of his life.  It’s one thing to aspire to greatness.  It’s another thing altogether to miscalculate the cost of getting there.

Ricky Vendetta has now posted a check that his body cannot afford to cash.

Me personally, I’m really waiting for this coming September 13th in Helsinki, when I finally get my hands on one Ricky Vendetta, mano y mano.

Since April of this year, young, brash Vendetta has been boasting about gaining a couple of tainted victories over Yours Truly.  Victories that were afforded him by third parties.  Firstly, his initial pinfall team win over me came at the assist of Heimo Ukonselkä back in April in a six-man main event at FCF Wrestling’s Jatkosota 2014.  Then, at Snacky Slam! this past July in another six-man encounter, Vendetta scored another pin on my via the timely interference of his partner, Stark Adder.

Now, were I Ricky Vendetta, I would probably be pretty stoked after gaining the biggest pinfall wins of my three-year career so far.  I’d also be an excited young pup, reveling in the feeling of getting the upper hand on a time-tested veteran and multi-time pro wrestling champion around the world.  Yeah, it would be a big ego boost.

But were I Ricky Vendetta, I would also consider the truth that I never actually defeated my esteemed opponent by my own merits.  No, I’d consider that I had a huge helping hand, one that saved my hide at the most critical moment of the match, just as I was about to go down.  Someone else afforded me a break.  I’d be thankful, were I Ricky Vendetta.  I’d also be very concerned.

Ricky Vendetta vs. StarBuck

Ricky Vendetta would like to believe he’s going to have the upper hand again come September 13.

At FCF Wrestling’s Syyskuun Selkäsauna on September 13th at Hotel Presidentti in downtown Helsinki, Ricky Vendetta is going be in for a reality check.  He is going to hurt.  Oh yes, Ricky Vendetta will be facing the grim face of reality, the cold hand of truth.  This will be his reckoning day, when the bells will toll.  Plus, this time, to ensure that Ricky Vendetta doesn’t have any of his pals like Stark Adder messing with our match, I will have former Finnish and European bodybuilding champion and legend, Boogie Mustonen, in my corner.  Oh yes, Ricky Vendetta, prepare to pay the piper on September 13th!

Boogie Mustonen and StarBuck

Bodybuilding legend Boogie Mustonen will be my cornerman at Syyskuun Selkäsauna

 

Tickets 15e at the door, 12e in advance through: http://www.fightclubfinland.fi/kauppa.php

Syyskuun Selkäsauna start time 18:00 on Saturday, September 13 at Hotel Presidentti in Helsinki — DON’T MISS IT!

StarBuck vs Vendetta SYYSKUUN SELKÄSAUNA

On Tuesday, July 29 in Helsinki, FCF Wrestling is going to see their biggest media coverage to date in the past 11 years that the game has been a domestic staple in the country of Finland.  This stems from the fact that the biggest, #1-selling magazine in all the land, 7 Päivää (aka Seiska), is acting as the main media sponsor for an event entitled SNACKY SLAM! in the Pukinmäki suburb of Helsinki on that very day.  SNACKY SLAM! is named after Helsinki’s famous hamburger fast food classic restaurant Snacky, who is hosting the event.  For this special occasion, Snacky will be launching a new burger based on an idea that I pitched to them, called the Slamburger at SNACKY SLAM!.  This will be a huge showcase for the entire sport here in Finland, and everyone is stoked about the media hype leading into the event.  Best of all, especially for the public and the fans, this event will be 100% free admission, a matinee starting at 13:00 in the afternoon!

SNACKY SLAM! six-man tag

At SNACKY SLAM!, it’s six-man warfare as StarBuck’s team meets Ricky Vendetta’s team

At SNACKY SLAM!, I finally get my mitts on “Finnish Doberman” Ricky Vendetta, who has been shooting his mouth off over the past few months, making a big deal about the tainted win over Yours Truly that FCF champion Heimo Ukonselkä literally handed to him in a six-man match back at FCF’s Jatkosota 2014 in April.  Ricky refuses to understand and come to grips with the fact that he never earned that victory the hard way.  He didn’t actually beat me fair and square in the middle of the ring, based on his own talents or offensive attack.  No, Ricky Vendetta was handed a win.

Jatkosota 2014 main event

Jatkosota 2014 earlier this year and a tainted victory over me (photo: Marko Simonen)

Now, at SNACKY SLAM! on July 29, Ricky Vendetta gets the chance to make good – when his team with Stark Adder and the monsterous executioner-like Petrov meets my team with Sly Sebastian and Mikko Maestro – and show that he can put this old dog down the hard way.  That is, if he can.  Now me, I seriously doubt that.  I have serious doubts over whether a 20-something upstart in the wrestling business with three years of experience under his belt can honestly best a 3-time European champion and time-tested, 20-year veteran of the ring wars in “The Rebel” StarBuck.  Many before Young Mr. Vendetta have tried, and oh so many of them have failed miserably.

Ricky Vendetta vs StarBuck

Ricky Vendetta has tested my ire before in Jan. 2013, and he ended up not so well (photo: Marko Simonen)

I might not be a young lad anymore, not able to play spider man with the other big dreamers on the school grounds or in the sandbox, but that has no bearing on anything.  I have ring smarts.  I have experience.  And no amount of money or personal investment is going to get you what experience can only bring.  That is my greatest asset, and the sooner that Ricky Vendetta understands that, the more tolerable — or perhaps intolerable — the hiding that I dish out to him will be this coming Tuesday, July 29 in Helsinki in our six-man tag team match showdown.

Below you can check out several media pieces and profile videos that entertainment juggernaut 7 Päivää has done on both myself and the SNACKY SLAM! event in general.  Make plans to be there in person on July 29, right in the middle of vacation season here in Finland, at 13:00 in the afternoon, as I lay an ass-whopping on Ricky Vendetta and his team like has rarely been seen:

http://www.seiska.fi/Viihdeuutiset/Johnny-McMetal-ja-StarBuck-ovat-oman-aikansa-gladiaattoreita-tallaista-on-ammattipaini-video/1047308

http://www.seiska.fi/Viihdeuutiset/Ammattipainija-StarBuckilla-on-edessaan-todellinen-koitos-Katso-vakuutuksesi-kuntoon-silla-noutaja-saapuu/1047223

http://www.seiska.fi/NEWS-lahetys/NEWS-perjantai-Mestaruusottelusta-tulossa-vuosisadan-turpakarajat/1048533

http://www.seiska.fi/Viihdeuutiset/Johnny-McMetal-kisaa-mestaruudesta-hurjassa-lajissa-Luvassa-kunnon-turpiin-mattamista-video/1047710

http://www.seiska.fi/Viihdeuutiset/Showpainin-Suomen-mestaruusottelijat-ottivat-mittaa-toisistaan-kadenvaannossa-video/1048437

http://www.seiska.fi/Viihdeuutiset/Marianne-Kallio-Tama-on-valttikorttini-kun-kohtaan-Tia-Kiurun-kehassa/1047293

Also at SNACKY SLAM! on July 29, it’s going to be media favorite Johnny McMetal vs. FCF champion “Wildman” Heimo Ukonselkä for the title, the massive 125kg King Kong Karhula vs. flying punker Vili Luupää and a celebrity girls’ bikini match between Finnish Viidakon Tähtöset TV hit series star Marianne Kallio and Miss XL Finland Johanna Salminen, following Viidakon Tähtöset co-star and hated rival Tia Kiuru pulling out of the event.

Marianne Kallio and Tia Kiuru

Marianne Kallio (left) will have to find a new opponent, as Tia Kiuru (right) has pulled out.

7 Päivää magazine has announced Miss XL Finland Johanna Salminen as Tia Kiuru’s replacement against Marianne Kallio in the celebrity bikini match at SNACKY SLAM!, where the objective will be for one competitor to strip her opponent of all her clothes, ripping them off her body, until her adversary is left standing in only her bikini!

Johanna Salminen Miss XL Finland

Johanna Salminen Miss XL Finland

After a hellacious night of wrestling warfare in Helsinki this past weekend at the biggest yearly event in Finnish professional wrestling, I found myself losing … and losing big!

I entered the event with my head held high, a dual-champion, representing both Britain and Japan. However, after the dust had settled, I left the ring dejected, having lost both the BWA Catchweight title to Valentine, as well as the WNC championship to Bernard Vandamme. To add salt to my wounds, I also lost the services of my wife, Miss D, as my ringside valet, since the stipulation in the match with Valentine was that should I lose the match (and BWA title), my wife’s career would also be on the line. In other words, FCF Wrestling’s Talvisota VIII was a royal flush for me … right down the proverbial shitter.

Firstly, the long-awaited Stretcher Match that I had with Valentine was a war that I gladly accepted and looked forward to. After the match, his face was marred and his front tooth chipped, after all that he and his Bättre Folk cohorts instigated against my wife and I over the past year. This was a bittersweet revenge for me, and although I lost the match, which could only end in a pinfall, I gained my measure of retribution. Valentine used a foreign object, which I heard were brass knuckles, on my ribs, and in the end, threw salt into my eyes before nailing his Code Breaker finsiher to pin me down for the win. After I was able to shake the stinging from my eyes, I paid Valentine back in spades, piledriving him three times – two of those head-first on a steel chair. Valentine was carted out of the ring with his newly-acquired BWA title draped unceremoniously across his prone carcass. Miss D even got her own personal comeuppance against Valentine’s Bättre Folk valet, Barbie, slapping the devious wench to the canvas after the match. I was happy over all of the dished out retribution, even in defeat.

StarBuck vs Valentine collage TS8

However, my WNC title defense against Belgium’s powerhouse Bernard Vandamme was an even more bitter pill for me. I was battle-weary, but Vandamme demanded his match immediately after I duelled Valentine. With the heart of a hero, there was no way I was backing down. I fought with all I had, but Vandamme was fresh, and he laid the heat on hard and heavy. It took just under two-minutes for my assailant to score the victory, with an Oklahoma Stampede powerslam. Lo and behold, in one fell swoop, wihtin one night, I lost two championships.

StarBuck vs Vandamme collage TS8

Now, in this life, there is no up without the down, no happiness without sadness, and no good without evil. Everything is relative, in addition: the higher you climb, the further down you have to fall. After reaching the pinnacle, the top of the mountain, the only way is down. No one stays on top forever.

So now, in the face of this monumental, personal defeat at Talvisota VIII, starts the climb back up the mountain for this wayfaring, battle-worn ring veteran. But mark my words, I will rise like a phoenix from the ashes. My ego and spirit are too strong to be denied.

It wasn’t only me, that suffered a crushing loss at Talvisota VIII. The FCF Wrestling championship changed hands at the event, as the incredibly-popular champion Tuho Torvinen lost his prestigious title to ”Wildman” Heimo Ukonselkä. Ukonselkä played a very aggressive and dirty game against Torvinen, laying the champion out with the butt of his battle axe, which is a part of the Wildman’s gimmick regalia during his ring entrances. Torvinen’s bell was visibly wrung, and the man was never able to fully regain his senses and sustain a prolonged flurry of offense. In just over 10-minutes, Ukonselkä countered Torvinen’s football tackle charge, nailing the champion with a powerful big boot to the face, after which the winning pinfall was academic.

Perhaps the lesson to be learned here is, that as Iron Maiden once sang, ”The evil that men do lives on and on.”

Yet, like a phoenix, the good will rise from the ashes. Just watch us.